I’ve been on a Lent Social Media Detox & Nearly Relapsed

I’ve been on an Instagram Detox for 40 Days for Lent and it’s been WONDERFUL!

My intention with my Lent fast was to be more intentional about how I use my time and to redirect my focus inward. 

But just yesterday, I wrote a blog about The Four Agreements and it got pushed to Facebook. I panicked because I knew exactly what would happen. Next thing I was on my Facebook “just to check” and an hour later, I was still scrolling. 

I could have done so much in that hour, guys! I had so much to do. 

The other thing I realised is that I was being drawn into other people’s energy fields by engaging with their content. It wasn’t simply a matter of consuming “entertainment”, I was physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually getting entangled in the life of the mother of 4 who missed her bus from the Eastern Cape and had no money to buy another ticket.

“She’s a scam artist!” I started typing.

“She’s tried to scam me. ‘Can’t believe she’s doing the same thing 5 years later!”  

Photo by Josie Stephens

I caught myself just in time. Another test, another opportunity to grow. I chose the high road.

Delete

Delete

Delete

Today is a new day. I am back in the game. 

Intention: Avoid Distraction. Redirect Focus Inward.

If you are in the last stretch of Lent, I wish you a wonderful Holy Week and for those of you still in the early days of Ramadaan, you’ve got this. As for everyone else, if you are looking for a ways to:

• Increase Your Productivity

• Boost Your Vitality

• Improve Your Sleep

• Up Your Sense of Wellbeing

• Dull your Jealous Streak

• Elevate Your Self Esteem

and Mind your own damn business…then you should totally try 40 Days of no social/any media. It’s just so cool.

Aluta Continua as they say.

Happy Weekend, 

xoxo Lee 

My inner child really needed me last week!

My inner child really needed me last week.

“Shhh, now’s not a good time,” I said roughly; picking at another olive and shifting uncomfortably in my seat. (In my mind, I gave her the look) 

I was very aware of what 9 year old me needed in that moment. She needed to feel: 

• Loved 
• Safe 
• Accepted

And that’s exactly what I did NOT give her! 

And then something amazing happened! My son walked into the kitchen (age 9, about the same age as I was when I was most vulnerable) and I knew! I knew that I would neverrrrrrr treat him the way I had just treated Little-me.

I think it’s thanks to many years and many types of therapy, my commitment to my spiritual development and a healthy dose of self-care, that I was able to quickly self-correct. 

So, I left the dinner early and jumped into a good, long Epsom salts bath to remind Little Lee: 

If you are battling with a narcissistic bully of a boss/teacher/spouse or family member, I encourage you to say this affirmation daily and to believe that you are worthy of all these things. I do!

Sending you good vibes only,

BIG LEE

XOXO

Someone asked me HOW DO YOU PRAY?

Someone asked me how do you pray? The question threw me because I knew that she was not looking for a textbook answer.

I responded by saying that when we pray, we have to pause our human tendency toward doubt for a few minutes and then it’s simply a matter of surrender.” #boom

My prayers are simple. 1. I often start with a VISUALISATION where I picture handing over all the things that are weighing heavy on my heart:

Anxiety

Insecurity

Physical pain

Fear

I’ve learnt over the years not to ask for specific things or outcomes but rather to leave that up to the Creative Intelligence. Often what I think I want in a moment of crisis (a specific job, house or boy) is not the “answer”. The solutions that have come in Divine Timing have always been far more wonderful than my version.

2. Then once I feel light enough, I know I am better able to CONNECT TO A HIGHER FREQUENCY and that’s when my real prayer begins. It’s always a prayer for: Strength  Opportunity. Guided Direction & a Petition for those in need

3. And then, as one should, I always end off with a THANK YOU!

“Because l may not be a subject matter expert on prayer, but I sure know alot about the power of Gratitude and if that is the only prayer you ever say, well then you’re on your way!”

She insisted on paying for the coffee:-)

xoxo

Lee

I can buy myself flowers! I can hold my own hand!

Ahhh, I have a new favourite song! (Well, a new favourite to add to my list of 7000 favourites)

I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Miley! Miley! You’re talking my language Hannah Montana! Damn girl.

I do buy myself flowers. I’ve been taking myself on solo dates, solo hikes, solo holidays, solo everything since day dot.

Why? Well, I happen to like my own company. Just like I love me a good one-on-one date with my hot man, a book club session, moms night, and those boozy Sunday lunches with 50 of my closest family members (ha! ha!), I happen to love me a little diner pour un too.

I’ve never felt awkward about these things.

In fact, my sister Chrissy reminded me just last week of the time when I was 14 years old and took myself out to a fancy restaurant by bus, wearing my mom’s perfume – which I stole while she was at work. Yes, I know, I know! I was always a bit of an early-adopter…or what do they call them now…INFLUENCER? I sat down, surrounded by business people in their fancy suits having business lunches and ordered a Coca-Cola which I asked the waiter to pour into a wine glass. “I’ll have the…escargot” I probably said, trying to act fancy and not knowing that it was in fact snails, you know?

But you get the point.

Self-love, self-care, self-respect are not buzz words. The more you do it, the more you’ll find that what you’re looking for out there you can probably give yourself, given half a chance. And then when and IF you add other people, they’ll slot into the open spots you’ve created for them just beautifully. Right!? (Besides, another lesson I learnt age 14 is that sitting around and waiting to be taken out on a date is sooooooo last season. Beautiful sunsets wait for no man).

Listen to the Miley song guys.

Do the things,

xoxo

Lee

My Creative Origin Story. What’s YOURS?

Hey I’m Lee

I’m a freelance writer based in Johannesburg, South Africa.

I started writing when I was 9. I wrote a story about a tiger and proudly handed it in to be graded. When it came back, the first thing I noticed was a big red line drawn across the page. According to my teacher, there was no way I could have written it. She reckoned it was too good to be true and gave me zero.

That moment sparked something in me. Instead of shrinking in shame, my tummy fizzed. Perhaps I do have magic in me, I thought. So I wrote some more and sure enough, the more I leaned in to what I was good at, the better I became and the more the magic flowed. And the more my tummy fizzed.

I now run a business writing for a living!

Photo by Leah Kelley

I also teach people about that magic and nothing gives me bigger pleasure than watching people and brands come alive when they find the right WORDS to use strategically in order to achieve their unique objectives.

Because let’s face it, we are ALL creative beings at heart. We ALL have a story that only we can tell and deep within we ALL have a desire to leave our unique creative imprint on this world.

I lucked out with that zero. Without it, who knows where I would have been.

If you’d like to buy my book, read my blogs or connect with me regarding one of your creative writing projects, my website is the best place to start. www.leemayimele.com

I encourage you to make your creative mark on the world. I’m looking out for it.

Lee

How to FEEL rich

Psychology says that it is easier for us to feel thankful when we surround ourselves with symbols of abundance.

* A bowl filled with fresh fruit (Freng Shui says oranges for the win!)

* A vase of fresh flowers (You don’t even have to buy the fancy stuff. I sometimes use whatever I can pick along my morning walks and pop them into an ordinary drinking glass!)

* A display of your finest wine/preserves/choccies

* Pictures of holidays, family celebrations and paintings of sunflowers/corn fields…things in full bloom. Use magazine cut-outs if you don’t have your own pics.

* A spritz of something that smells luxurious in the air or on your neck 

Photo by Any Lane

Every time you SEE/TOUCH/FEEL/SMELL those things you will tune into a HIGHER FREQUENCY.

The idea is to re-programme your sub-conscious. Very soon you will start believing:

There is always enough!

The world is rich and full of prosperity 

There is more than enough!

There is bounty all around me 

I am worthy of it all!

Join me this week, please. This is especially important when you don’t feel like you have enough. I know this feeling well. 

I see the light,  

xoxo Lee 

Do YOU have the courage to tell your story?

One of the first things people say to me when they hear that I’m a writer is “Oohhhh, I want to write a book too!” 

My response “You should!”

Followed promptly by, “…and you totally can!”  

The sad thing is that 99% of those people never write anything and I know why. It goes back to the lie that’s been told to us for generations: YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  

What rubbish!  

Photo by Leeloo Thefirst on Pexels.com

Everyone is a storyteller.

Everyone has a story that only they can tell.

And everyone has a right to tell their unique story.

I’ve been working on helping other people find the courage to tell the story that only they can tell. To date, I’ve helped hundreds of authors get their stories out of the heads, into their hearts, onto their computer screens and then out into the world. 

The courage lies in the ability to go beyond the lies. That lies that say: Your story? Ha ha! Who are YOU to be interesting? What makes YOU think that YOU have anything to offer to the world? Give it up while you still have some dignity.

As a writing coach, I make it my business to take my clients beyond that self-talk. Take my dad, for example who has been creative all his life. He sang his stories as an Elvis impersonator in his early years, sketched his way through many a childhood trauma, created poetry through his woodwork and told of his heartache with his guitar. He would laugh if I were to tell him that his stories are still in draft because he is yet to WRITE them. I guess I would laugh too. But only because I know I am write..I mean right.  

I intend to win this one. And get him to write his memoir, Insha’Allah, as my muslim friends so beautifully say, “If God so wills it”.  

Lee

If you would like to work with me, submissions are open now until the end of January 2023. Please get in touch for submission guidelines.

Gratitude Again!

Yogananda said: “Don’t wait for reversals to make you grateful for what you had.”

Shoo, that one hit me in the chest guys because let’s face it, this is our nature as human beings. We stare our healthy bodies/happy kids/safety/relationships/security/financial security/good fortune in the face and it’s only when we lose one of those things that we realize what we had going. Right?  

I’ve cultivated the habit of making a daily Gratitude List. In fact, I make several a day (on paper/on my phone) and I have done this for 15+ years. Every.Single.Day.  

It’s a bit like brushing my teeth or going out for my daily walk sometimes. It’s a slog! I can come up with a million reasons I should postpone starting it or not doing it at all, but once it’s done, I’m like … “Girl!?” 

My lists are often simple and things like my housekeeper Mavis, my children’s teachers and food top my list, but just yesterday, I had over 30 items on my Gratitude list. They just flowed. 

It was a simple, shitty Monday of chores, no-Mavis and dreary weather but I had things like:

1. Old McDonald had a farm (on the piano by an 8 year old!) 

2. Spinach from the garden 

3. Take away coffee from the hubs 

4. My Dishwasher 

5. Fireplace 

6. Bookclub stash 

8. Walk with Celeste

9. Home Office 

10. Birds galore 

11. Chats with school moms 

12. Found my keys! 

13. Boy scored goal in hockey (hates hockey) 

14. Girl happy to perform in school concert (eek) 

15. Great meeting with editor  

16. Prawn rissole from heaven

….okay, I’ll stop there but you get my drift.

I didn’t have to wait until my body was too sick to walk or my garden too barren to give me spinach to appreciate the glory of these little moments. I saw them and I winked in absolute gratitude for all the many blessings. 

And I tell you, the more I do this, the more I want to. Always.

Lee 

Is passing the ball and sharing pizza too much to ask?

Sharing does not come easy to children. Well actually, sharing does not come easy to human beings I’ve decided.

This is my conclusion after standing on the side of the sports field and using every fibre of self-restraint I own not to run onto the pitch to grab the ball from kids who hog it. Pass the blooming thing, I shout inside my head, Open your eyes, dude…there are 3 free kids waiting in the wings. It’s a team sport!

I’m sure I’ve said that last bit out loud? Never!

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

Is it that we are all driven by some inner desire to be the hero? Or perhaps we’re just chasing the high that we know comes from scoring/winning? I don’t know what the answer is but I do think that when it comes to any group activity, understanding our role in the team is as key as understanding the overall objective. Imagine if every single soccer game had 8 Ronaldos, I say. Who would be the Ruud Krol (I’m giving away my age) to help the goalie in the back? I think I’ve made my point.

As for adults, we don’t easily master the sharing thing either despite our pretenses. True sharing implies empathy: the ability to get into another’s mind and see things from their viewpoint. How many of us can truly say that we can do that?

I’m working on less of ME and more of WE.

…unless it comes to leftovers in the fridge. Then it’s me, me, me all the way. Junior School-sport style:-)

Lee

Dear Barbara Streisand: “People who need people are indeed the luckiest people in the world”

What could go wrong on a morning when all the traffic lights are out?

Well, I packed some hot dog rolls into a Woolies shopping bag together with some cheese grillers and set off to gym. Stay with me – the hot dogs and gym visual is true.

The plan was to give the food away before it expired without my husband finding out. Long story…

I never quite made it to the gym (no surprises there) but I decided to sit down for some scrambled eggs instead. Just before I picked a spot, I saw someone I could give the food away to. The man sells Homeless Talk, a newspaper that I have seen a million times but never bought.

As I sat down at the cafe for my breakfast, I reached for my wallet to put the parking ticket in the spot where I always put my parking ticket and that’s when I realised that my wallet was in the black hot dog bag! The plan had been to stick the empty shopping bag into my gym bag, that’s how my purse ended up inside. Note to self: forget gym.

When I related the story to my children later that afternoon, sure I added some drama but essentially:

I had no cash to get out of the parking lot and had to make some decisions quickly.

So I asked the parking lady for a free pass. Sure, she said.

The cafe owner said that I come could totally have stayed for a free breakfast.

I opened my banking app to see if there had been any transactions. Cancel Cards/Not? Pause, I decided.

As I drove up the road towards the Homeless Talk seller, I saw him holding out the Mykonos blue purse with a look that said, “………..!”

The kids screamed “Nice hot dog lady!” but the man’s face really screamed “dumb blonde!” I was guilty as charged on both counts.

But here’s what this story is really about: people people, people.

We are all just people who need people. And that’s how we all get by. By needing people and by allowing people to need us. Barbara Streisand was right.

Lee

P.S. I couldn’t find much info online re Homeless Talk but the lovely guy selling his is at the garage near St Davids in Inanda close to Summer place:-) Didn’t catch his name. Don’t tell him you know me.