This is exactly what our creator had in mind when they finalised my factory settings!
Few things make me happier than going to bed early + waking up early. It has definitely made me healthier and since good health is our true wealth, I’ll be the first to say thank you for being able to check the “wealth” box too (while I wait for the billions in the bank).
As for being “wise”, I guess being able to recognise what I have in this moment is the real measure of wisdom for me.
Am I wise enough to know that I don’t know?
Am I wise enough to know that every breath is a gift, every second in this body precious?
Am I wise enough to ask for help, change course, learn, stretch, surrender to both pleasure & pain?
Am I wise enough to never call myself wise
And, most importantly,
Am I wise enough to know when a carefully timed double shot of Espresso is required because life is not linear and mine is no boarding school?
I’m learning.
I encourage you to be you, to share you, to celebrate you. Imagine how dull life would be if we all loved our orange juice with salt?
Lee
I just love this little doodle my 8 year old did of me! He sure knows how much his mom loves her some Ed Sheeran “Bad Habits” in those mom jeans. As for the cute eyes, well…what can I say?
I had a really crap job as a dog’s body at an insurance company in Rosebank many years ago. It was right upstairs from Fournos — a fast-food-style deli and bakery.
One of my jobs was to archive old claim files. From my spot on the dirty grey carpet, the faces of the happy people who had just bought their takeaway coffee and croissants were not really visible, but I saw the way they walked and that’s what I wanted! Freedom.
I remembered this chapter of my life this morning while sitting at the very Fournos. I’d say it’s about 18 years later. I can still picture the unsure girl that used to hate her job and the grey carpet.
My dream was to move into my own office at the insurance company but life took me in another direction. One morning, I took the risk of meeting a recruiter at Fournos. She offered me a temp position at a new IT firm for triple the salary. The only catch was that it was not permanent. I would stand in for someone going on maternity leave.
My instinct is always to say YES. So, I did.
The next thing I had to do was talk to my boss. I was sure I could catch him before his “secret” (not so secret since she told everyone) lover closed the door for their daily meeting.
“Can I be honest with you?”, he said. Ah, those famous words I hate so much; usually a pre-cursor to some bullshit.
“Sure,” I replied.
“I would not hire you. You are too young and…well, you are not good enough.”
I prepared a resignation letter the next day and asked HR to let me use my leave in lieu of notice.
“That won’t be necessary,” HR told me. “Here are the calculations for your retrenchment package.”
I did not know it was coming.
I used the cash to buy a new car and drove into my new job like a mother-bleep.
I always feel like laughing (I don’t!) when someone tells me I “inspire” them. It happened just yesterday.
Are you off your f$ing rocker? You really need to raise your standards, I always think. Here I am, with my overgrown under-arms, a dent in my car (shhhh, don’t tell the hubs – it literally just came back from the shop when I scratched it again) and a mountain of unopened bills. I haven’t had the time to clean out my daughter’s school bag this week and yes – you guessed it – the smell this morning led me straight to rotten pear. Yip, it was…you know….just hanging there in a little corner underneath the reading card.
We celebrated our anniversary recently, and I posted a sexy pic of us kids on a night out. “Inspired” were you? Well, I had my head buried in editing work the week leading up to that lovely picture and barely said boo to the man. So, I thought I’d surprise him with a lovely gift. When it didn’t arrive, I called to complain (in my best “Karen” voice). The tech guy’s slow “Uh…m’am” told me he knew I was grey. ‘turns out I forgot to click “check-out” and PAY! Who does that?
Someone blamed it on Mercury Retrograde. I blame it on life!
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch
That said, I did remember to brush my teeth and to say THANK YOU this week:
Thank you for the gift of good health
Thank you that my son ate all the garnishes (read veggies) on his burger
thank you for the laughs over brekkie, the hummus, the WhatsApps of love, gossip and friendship
And most importantly, thank you because I feel loved, supported and accepted by those I share my life with.
So, I’ve decided: I’ll take the compliment the next time someone says that they are “inspired”. That’s how I will know that it’s okay to just be (messy) ME.
Perhaps you’ll do the same? I, for one, will be soooooo inspired!
xoxo
Lee
P.S. My book is now available on Amazon Kindle. See the link below for more info:
Were you lost in the forest of someone else’s shadow or perhaps lost in the company of familiar people dancing to a beat you could no longer hear?
Have you ever had a brush with God?
Did it happen when you were at the top of a beautiful mountain, or did it happen when you came face to face with a rapist?
Have you ever been an addict?
Did your drug of choice soothe you, own you, control you and lift you all at once? Did your alliance seem unbreakable?
Have you ever been seduced?
Did it help you to escape your bad reality only later to return you changed and unsure of the way forward?
Have you ever been betrayed?
Did you stand in the doorway of broken trust with a gun iun your hand? Did you bleed and let the light into the parts where your heart was shattered by the glass of lies and deceipt.
Have you ever danced? Really danced?
Did the primal impulse to sway create waves of sexual energy that made you high? Did you forget all about the pot on the stove while you followed the pattern of stops and starts?
Have you ever eaten through your heart?
Was it your granny’s roast potatoes that transported the serotonin throughout your body or was it a hot curry shared with a hot body on a chilly day that stained your arteries with bliss?
Have you ever been touched?
Whether by the 80-year-old hand of a stranger, rough with callouses but warm with unspoken stories about abuse, slavery, loved ones that have never returned? Or, was it simply a simple line from a simple song that charged your soul’s batteries and flooded your bones with warmth?
Have you ever blessed someone with prayer?
Did your heart send vibrations across tall walls and rough seas; intercessions seasoned with grand visualisations of success, prosperity, abundance to people who you dreamed glorious dreams for?
Have you ever wanted a glimpse of your future?
Did you follow that need to seek guidance from soothsayers, Tarot cards, and horoscopes perhaps? Anything that promised the slightest secret fast forward to a life more grand?
I bet you have! …and, guess what? So have many spirits before you, many souls yet to come. These shared experiences give us the assurance that we are on unique paths on the same journey. The “answers” we seek already exist in the great cosmic consciousness and this planet’s memory.
I urge you to remember, friends. That’s how the dream of separation ends and our journey back to each other begins. I’m holding space for YOU.
xoxo
DO YOU HAVE A STORY YOU ARE DYING TO WRITE BUT DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START? LET ME HELP YOU GET UNSTUCK. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE STORIES & WE ARE READY FOR YOURS.
It’s school award season and I’ve been watching something with interest.
On the one hand, you have the proud parents posing with their children and the congratulatory comments from happy friends. Then there’s the ugly flip-side as the parents whose children did not win the big awards, turn to their friend’s Inboxes to whisper their conspiracies.
Yip, the Green-eyed monster is alive and well!
I have not engaged: Neither to post about my children’s achievements, nor to throw shade where invited.
HOW?
Well, it’s easy for me: I have a little symbol to whack me back into line.
This little symbol has always brought me back in line, helping me to ground myself in humility and also to avoid the temptation to compare. Photo by Jumana Dakkur
The Evil-Eye is traditionally a symbol to guard against jealousy but I use it as a note to self.
The one I wear on my arm is my daily reminder:
Don’t boast – Nobody likes a show-off
Don’t draw unnecessary attention to your home/relationship/material bounty – Envy is a biatch
Run your race and let other people run theirs – It’s a win-win
Count your own blessings and there will be no time to focus on other people’s – Gratitude 101
I’ve also learned from watching with interest how my muslim friends respond to a compliment (whether it be about their looks or the talents of their children) with the response, Masha’Allah, that is, “God has willed it”. Don’t you love that show of humility?
Perhaps this will inspire you the next time you find yourself edging towards the territory of the Green-eyed one again? It’s always good to remember that blowing out someone else’s candles never makes ours shine any brighter,
Lee
**If you’d like to learn more about The Evil Eye, I found this Wikipedia entry quite interesting:
I completed a mammoth task this week! I’ve had my head down for months on this project, which I will tell you about soon enough. (I’m sure you can guess what it is *wink *wink).
And, just as I was about to breatheeeeeeee, put my feet up and relax, my next challenge arrived. What struck me that my assignments seem to be getting harder each time.
Take speaking for example. For some years now, I’ve been asked to speak at events about my work on Gratitude and I’ve embraced these opportunities wholeheartedly. But what always happens next is that people want more. A little more personal, a little more vulnerable, more of YOU please.That’s usually the point when I run!
But I’m working on it.
I’m easing into sharing a more vulnerable side, not about my personal life (that’s all dull and boring) but about the things that shape, crack, break, mould, transform and inspire me. I can write about them, sure. But, when it comes to TALKING about them…well, that’s a different ballgame entirely.
But I’m working on it.
And, just as I said !YES!, this massive world class speaking event called my name, asking me to put my money where my mouth is.
Because that’s the way the Laws of the Universe work and I could not be more grateful to be in the flow.
My husband said the most romantic thing to me last week.
“You’re a kind one” he said “don’t let them make you who you are not”.
Straight to the heart
Just like that, I remembered! Love helped me to remember my name and with that, I was back on track.
Forgiving easily,
Giving easily,
Back in the groove of being free, open, flexible ME.
That wavelength has opened so many doors for me over the course of my life (after I accepted that it was not being “WEAK”).
Interestingly too, that awareness of the nature of my highest self, has pushed me to draw boundaries and ring-fence my peace, keeping all things that threaten it well away. Yes, it has lost me some people but gosh, isn’t that the best part? That the more ME I am, the more the people, things and circumstances that are not aligned to that vibration drop off?
I want to tell you a quick story about my book, Musings – Reflections of Gratitude.
When I wrote it, I thought I had accomplished my mission. I thought it would go into bookstores and I could sit my bottom down to rest and write again. But, life had other plans for me.
For a good year and a half now, I have been signing copies of this book. I kid you not. It has gone to print over 6 times and not a week goes by without a stream of corporate gifts walking out of my front door. Each person who bought it, seemed to think of many other people (moms, friends, grannies, colleagues) to whom they wanted to gift the book.
Don’t laugh! That’s my game face (tongue & all)
There are many nights when I find myself sitting at my dining room table, surrounded by hundreds of pink gift bags, pink ribbon, pink tissue paper with my little people packing the personalised books signed Mary, Sophie, Lebo, Maria, Fatima et al.
You see, what I have come to realise about this book, is that my job was not simply to write it, my job was to LIVE it. That is, the lesson about giving and receiving. About being truly grateful.
It has truly been a labour of LOVE, one which I have truly been rewarded for over and over again.
Talking about love, support and all things gifty, I’ve partnered with the lovely mom duo Debbie and Lauren from The Domestic Dolls for Women’s month and you can order signed copies of the very book for your besties, your bookclub, your staff members and all the wonderful women in your life through this website : https://the-domestic-dolls.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/musings-reflections-of-gratitude
Don’t forget to tell them how grateful you are for all they are and all they do.
So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?
I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.
I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).
For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.
The ones I liked most were:
What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?
&
How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?
Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!
I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.
Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.
Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).
So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?
TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.
Wishing you Courage Always,
Lee
P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).
I remember this particular morning. I had barely slept because our new baby was was breastfeeding on demand, and well…that night his demand was every 10 minutes.
I had gone out walking and my husband had come to find me. I saw him coming towards me with my little girl in her stroller and my son strapped tightly to his chest in a sling when he reached into his pocket and took this pic.
We were in a little village in Spain for a few weeks in August in 2013 (can’t believe that’s already 6/7years ago!).
At the time, my head was always in TOMORROW. I looked forward to better days to come. A better body, more sleep, more freedom, getting back to my career, giving my vision board a fresh wipe. I thought that I’d dive straight back into my old corporate life and it would be fabulous!
But honestly, I never did go back to my old life. The universe had already changed my shit around to align things to my new vibration.
The Power of NOW
Now is where LOVE breathes – Rumi
When I look at this pic now, I think: NOW! NOW, girl! THIS MOMENT. Not tomorrow. Not after Covid-19. Not when your kids are grown or when you feel ready.
Lee Mayimele - Writer 