Is passing the ball and sharing pizza too much to ask?

Sharing does not come easy to children. Well actually, sharing does not come easy to human beings I’ve decided.

This is my conclusion after standing on the side of the sports field and using every fibre of self-restraint I own not to run onto the pitch to grab the ball from kids who hog it. Pass the blooming thing, I shout inside my head, Open your eyes, dude…there are 3 free kids waiting in the wings. It’s a team sport!

I’m sure I’ve said that last bit out loud? Never!

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

Is it that we are all driven by some inner desire to be the hero? Or perhaps we’re just chasing the high that we know comes from scoring/winning? I don’t know what the answer is but I do think that when it comes to any group activity, understanding our role in the team is as key as understanding the overall objective. Imagine if every single soccer game had 8 Ronaldos, I say. Who would be the Ruud Krol (I’m giving away my age) to help the goalie in the back? I think I’ve made my point.

As for adults, we don’t easily master the sharing thing either despite our pretenses. True sharing implies empathy: the ability to get into another’s mind and see things from their viewpoint. How many of us can truly say that we can do that?

I’m working on less of ME and more of WE.

…unless it comes to leftovers in the fridge. Then it’s me, me, me all the way. Junior School-sport style:-)

Lee

Dear Barbara Streisand: “People who need people are indeed the luckiest people in the world”

What could go wrong on a morning when all the traffic lights are out?

Well, I packed some hot dog rolls into a Woolies shopping bag together with some cheese grillers and set off to gym. Stay with me – the hot dogs and gym visual is true.

The plan was to give the food away before it expired without my husband finding out. Long story…

I never quite made it to the gym (no surprises there) but I decided to sit down for some scrambled eggs instead. Just before I picked a spot, I saw someone I could give the food away to. The man sells Homeless Talk, a newspaper that I have seen a million times but never bought.

As I sat down at the cafe for my breakfast, I reached for my wallet to put the parking ticket in the spot where I always put my parking ticket and that’s when I realised that my wallet was in the black hot dog bag! The plan had been to stick the empty shopping bag into my gym bag, that’s how my purse ended up inside. Note to self: forget gym.

When I related the story to my children later that afternoon, sure I added some drama but essentially:

I had no cash to get out of the parking lot and had to make some decisions quickly.

So I asked the parking lady for a free pass. Sure, she said.

The cafe owner said that I come could totally have stayed for a free breakfast.

I opened my banking app to see if there had been any transactions. Cancel Cards/Not? Pause, I decided.

As I drove up the road towards the Homeless Talk seller, I saw him holding out the Mykonos blue purse with a look that said, “………..!”

The kids screamed “Nice hot dog lady!” but the man’s face really screamed “dumb blonde!” I was guilty as charged on both counts.

But here’s what this story is really about: people people, people.

We are all just people who need people. And that’s how we all get by. By needing people and by allowing people to need us. Barbara Streisand was right.

Lee

P.S. I couldn’t find much info online re Homeless Talk but the lovely guy selling his is at the garage near St Davids in Inanda close to Summer place:-) Didn’t catch his name. Don’t tell him you know me.

Overhearing a Compliment – It’s just magical!

Did you know that overhearing a compliment about yourself magnifies its impact by many hundreds of percentages?

I sort of knew this because I read it sometime back on one of the conscious parenting community blogs. It said that if you tell your child that she’s a wonderful, kind human being that she’s likely to roll her eyes but if she overhears someone else saying the exact same thing about her she’s far likely to believe it. Intriguing, right?

But think about it. Imagine you’re standing at a party and you overhear two people having a conversation about you. “She always looks amazing! Hot and kind? She is the full package!” Right? It would go straight to your heart.

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

That’s what happened to me when I read something one of my clients wrote this week. Cara Carozza, author of Many Gifts – Seeing beyond the Setbacks posted this on her blog:

“Lee is more than a writing coach to me. She has become a friend. But, it’s her work process that I am so grateful for. Lee is a dream weaver! She uses her intuitive gifts extensively in her work to get guidance for each project, each client, each moment. As she receives messages, Downloads, and guidance she very gently shares the information to check for resonance. In my case, Lee’s intuitive nudges were always spot on. It’s the best feeling to know that you are being supported energetically. Lee calls it “holding space” and I believe that this is the future of all things corporate. If we can use our hearts more, we all win.”

Someone sent Cara’s post to me and said, “Lee, Cara is right! You ARE a dream weaver. Thank you for everything.”

It was a wonderful feeling.

So I encourage you to compliment, compliment, compliment genuinely. You are sowing the seeds of inspiration.

Lee

Would you hop on the Virtual PAY-AS-YOU-FEEL train?

When I lived in Amsterdam I used to go to a cafe called “Pay as you Feel”.

People would pop in, have a cup of coffee or something to eat and pay whatever they felt moved to. The kitchen was run by volunteers — often people with social/emotional hiccups — who needed to DO something. Their love language? Service, of course.

The cafe was on a busy high street with lots of tourists. I kept going back. At first because I’m a voyeur (don’t judge) and the cafe was a good spot to people-watch. Then I went back for another reason. It was the sense of satisfaction I got from giving. I mean, it’s cool to buy a cup of coffee (almost anyone can do that) but knowing that I was making a difference was something else entirely.

I’d cycle across to the other side of this icy canal to get to my little happiness cafe

The memory of the cafe popped up again this week when I received a lovely surprise. I’ve been working with a client on rebranding after a long hiatus of being home and uninspired. We came up with a fresh marketing strategy, she launched her brand and set off – quite excited to start doing her thing. She also wanted some advice on starting a blog and I agreed to help her get started. It was my pleasure to help her do that. (I remember when I first got started. There weren’t that many people willing to help me. I always said I would be different) Helping her made ME feel good. That was payment enough but she was not convinced. So, early one morning, I saw a ping on my phone with a payment.

“But why?” I texted her.

“Think of it as a virtual Pay as you Feel Cafe, Lee.” (She remembered my story!)

My only thing left to do this week is to find a way to pay it forward. Why, you ask? Well, because I FEEL like it.

Perhaps you FEEL like joining me?

Lee

The Little Things this week

My children made a card for my best friend’s mother this week. They picked flowers from the garden which we slipped inside a handmade card and sealed with a crooked bit of tape. I bundled their contribution into my pretty gift bag and sent it off, together with the rest of her gift.

She sent us a thank you video some hours later. Do you know what she treasured most? The random, mismatched flowers and words up and down a page stained by dirty fingers.

Pretty little blooms for a special lady

I was moved to tears.

It had been a hard week for us. The kids are back to doing online school, South Africa is back in Level 4 lockdown and many friends are down with Covid. Touch wood, we have been safe, happy and healthy but still, it hasn’t been easy hearing about other people losing loved ones and battling to save their businesses etc.

So, being able to make someone smile made me smile and once again I can say with absolute conviction that I am GRATEFUL for

• the gift of life
• the gift of good health
• my happy, healthy, creative, funny, kind, intuitive little people
• friends that feel like family
• flowers, birdies, sunshine, bugs and the whole ecosystem that gives and gives
• the sense that the more I appreciate THE LITTLE THINGS, the more they turn up.

How about you?

Can you vibe with that?

Lee

Here’s something to help you with that Green-Eyed Monster

It’s school award season and I’ve been watching something with interest.

On the one hand, you have the proud parents posing with their children and the congratulatory comments from happy friends. Then there’s the ugly flip-side as the parents whose children did not win the big awards, turn to their friend’s Inboxes to whisper their conspiracies.

Yip, the Green-eyed monster is alive and well!

I have not engaged: Neither to post about my children’s achievements, nor to throw shade where invited.

HOW?

Well, it’s easy for me: I have a little symbol to whack me back into line.

This little symbol has always brought me back in line, helping me to ground myself in humility and also to avoid the temptation to compare. Photo by Jumana Dakkur

The Evil-Eye is traditionally a symbol to guard against jealousy but I use it as a note to self.

The one I wear on my arm is my daily reminder:

• Don’t boast – Nobody likes a show-off

• Don’t draw unnecessary attention to your home/relationship/material bounty – Envy is a biatch

• Run your race and let other people run theirs – It’s a win-win

• Count your own blessings and there will be no time to focus on other people’s – Gratitude 101

I’ve also learned from watching with interest how my muslim friends respond to a compliment (whether it be about their looks or the talents of their children) with the response,  Masha’Allah, that is, “God has willed it”. Don’t you love that show of humility?

Perhaps this will inspire you the next time you find yourself edging towards the territory of the Green-eyed one again? It’s always good to remember that blowing out someone else’s candles never makes ours shine any brighter,

Lee

**If you’d like to learn more about The Evil Eye, I found this Wikipedia entry quite interesting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil_eye#:~:text=The%20evil%20eye%20is%20a,person%20when%20one%20is%20unaware.

I also love that there’s finally an evil-eye emoji!:-)

*CONFESSION*: I used to be a YES-Girl too

When last did you say NO?

As a recovering yes-girl, every single time I do this, I still get goosebumps. No, honestly.

Just last week I said no to doing the social media content for a campaign to help find jobs for people who had lost theirs because of Covid-19. The organisers wanted the job seekers to hold up placards describing their plight and to pose for pictures. The placard captions were to read Hungry. 2 Kids. No Food etc. I knew for sure that not one of the people – who by virtue of the way the dice had fallen in this lifetime – would have been prepared to hold up such a placard (nor would I), and so I walked away.

I just love this photo by Arfa Talib from Pexels. Isn’t it wonderful?

Then, I also said no to a bully in the family recently. Now, if you know anything about families, no is the ultimate swear word! Don’t you think? But, I was willing to take my chances. This time, I was guided by the fact that my little people are watching and learning and that if I want them to learn how to assert themselves, affirm their boundaries and stand their ground, I am going to have to walk the talk!

Perhaps you’re battling a little bit in this arena too? If you are, here are a couple of things to remember:

1. You teach people how to treat you
2. No is a complete sentence
3. You get what you tolerate
4. The only people who get upset when you assert your boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having any

I wish you love, my friends. And the courage to say NO!

Grateful always,

Lee

Gosh, my assignments have been getting tougher!

I completed a mammoth task this week! I’ve had my head down for months on this project, which I will tell you about soon enough. (I’m sure you can guess what it is *wink *wink).

And, just as I was about to breatheeeeeeee, put my feet up and relax, my next challenge arrived. What struck me that my assignments seem to be getting harder each time.

Take speaking for example. For some years now, I’ve been asked to speak at events about my work on Gratitude and I’ve embraced these opportunities wholeheartedly. But what always happens next is that people want more. A little more personal, a little more vulnerable, more of YOU please. That’s usually the point when I run!

But I’m working on it.

I’m easing into sharing a more vulnerable side, not about my personal life (that’s all dull and boring) but about the things that shape, crack, break, mould, transform and inspire me. I can write about them, sure. But, when it comes to TALKING about them…well, that’s a different ballgame entirely.

But I’m working on it.

And, just as I said !YES!, this massive world class speaking event called my name, asking me to put my money where my mouth is.

Because that’s the way the Laws of the Universe work and I could not be more grateful to be in the flow.

Wish me luck!

xoxo Lee

FYI: My slot is only 5am on Monday (no surprises there). Here is a link if you want to join/watch it later. http://www.hit-talks-livestream.com/hit-talks-live-event?fbclid=IwAR0GeWSnRq5c3069B5gYJ8jCtlfMHeqIX2vplfsoFWbQs9UyJqCwjXo012k

People Fatigue – WTF? I know, I know!

It was my sister in law who famously described me by saying “She gets PEOPLE fatigue”.  

She was describing my lively social nature that has such a short battery life. What can I say?  It’s only taken me about 100 years to accept that The Natural Habitat of this beast really is the quiet mountain.  

Now, it’s one thing to know something about yourself. It’s entirely another to know that someone else GETS it! Not that you’re seeking some sort of validation. H3%ck no, we’re too old for that!  It’s just so lovely to feel that gentle voice mirroring back to us those beautiful words it’s okay,

Okay to be weird.

Okay to different.

Okay to go at a pace that isn’t exactly textbook, but a pace that feels right just for YOU? 

Photo by Josh Hild

Isn’t that what we all want!?   To shine our Weirdo Lights bright so that other weirdos feel empowered to let theirs shine bright too?

I’m sending you thoughts of love this week and I’ll be looking out for your special light. Okay?

Lee

Two Kinds of People in This World

There are two kinds of people in this world.

The first are TAKERS. They walk into a room and you feel the energy drain. They are suckers of information, time, energy, resources and will leave you feeling depleted and frazzled if you let them in. Ask the kids. They will tell you who these people are.

The other are GIVERS and it is these people who I have plenty of in my life. This week, the givers were in top form. Compliments, free dresses, information pertaining to a legal matter, girlfriends calling just to say thanks, logistical help with the kids, a cleaner with a thing for sneakers. Gosh, I even saw a fresh hot cake come into the front door, fresh out of the oven of another and straight into my heart for no reason but kindness,

I’m rooting for my GIVERS all over the world. I think we’re going to find each other and I think we’re going to beat the takers to the finish line.

…besides, they’ll be so busy causing their own storms they won’t even notice the rainbow when we bank it.

Love you my Givers and and I never ever take a moment for granted!

Grateful always,

Lee