My inner child really needed me last week!

My inner child really needed me last week.

“Shhh, now’s not a good time,” I said roughly; picking at another olive and shifting uncomfortably in my seat. (In my mind, I gave her the look) 

I was very aware of what 9 year old me needed in that moment. She needed to feel: 

• Loved 
• Safe 
• Accepted

And that’s exactly what I did NOT give her! 

And then something amazing happened! My son walked into the kitchen (age 9, about the same age as I was when I was most vulnerable) and I knew! I knew that I would neverrrrrrr treat him the way I had just treated Little-me.

I think it’s thanks to many years and many types of therapy, my commitment to my spiritual development and a healthy dose of self-care, that I was able to quickly self-correct. 

So, I left the dinner early and jumped into a good, long Epsom salts bath to remind Little Lee: 

If you are battling with a narcissistic bully of a boss/teacher/spouse or family member, I encourage you to say this affirmation daily and to believe that you are worthy of all these things. I do!

Sending you good vibes only,

BIG LEE

XOXO

How to FEEL rich

Psychology says that it is easier for us to feel thankful when we surround ourselves with symbols of abundance.

* A bowl filled with fresh fruit (Freng Shui says oranges for the win!)

* A vase of fresh flowers (You don’t even have to buy the fancy stuff. I sometimes use whatever I can pick along my morning walks and pop them into an ordinary drinking glass!)

* A display of your finest wine/preserves/choccies

* Pictures of holidays, family celebrations and paintings of sunflowers/corn fields…things in full bloom. Use magazine cut-outs if you don’t have your own pics.

* A spritz of something that smells luxurious in the air or on your neck 

Photo by Any Lane

Every time you SEE/TOUCH/FEEL/SMELL those things you will tune into a HIGHER FREQUENCY.

The idea is to re-programme your sub-conscious. Very soon you will start believing:

There is always enough!

The world is rich and full of prosperity 

There is more than enough!

There is bounty all around me 

I am worthy of it all!

Join me this week, please. This is especially important when you don’t feel like you have enough. I know this feeling well. 

I see the light,  

xoxo Lee 

Early to Bed, Early to Rise – Is this the secret to Health, Wealth & Wisdom

Early to bed

Early to rise 

Makes a (wo)man healthy, wealthy and wise 

Benjamin Franklin

This is exactly what our creator had in mind when they finalised my factory settings!  

Few things make me happier than going to bed early + waking up early. It has definitely made me healthier and since good health is our true wealth, I’ll be the first to say thank you for being able to check the “wealth” box too (while I wait for the billions in the bank).  

As for being “wise”, I guess being able to recognise what I have in this moment is the real measure of wisdom for me.  

Am I wise enough to know that I don’t know?

Am I wise enough to know that every breath is a gift, every second in this body precious?

Am I wise enough to ask for help, change course, learn, stretch, surrender to both pleasure & pain?

Am I wise enough to never call myself wise

And, most importantly, 

Am I wise enough to know when a carefully timed double shot of Espresso is required because life is not linear and mine is no boarding school?

I’m learning.

I encourage you to be you, to share you, to celebrate you. Imagine how dull life would be if we all loved our orange juice with salt?

Lee 

I just love this little doodle my 8 year old did of me! He sure knows how much his mom loves her some Ed Sheeran “Bad Habits” in those mom jeans. As for the cute eyes, well…what can I say?

Is passing the ball and sharing pizza too much to ask?

Sharing does not come easy to children. Well actually, sharing does not come easy to human beings I’ve decided.

This is my conclusion after standing on the side of the sports field and using every fibre of self-restraint I own not to run onto the pitch to grab the ball from kids who hog it. Pass the blooming thing, I shout inside my head, Open your eyes, dude…there are 3 free kids waiting in the wings. It’s a team sport!

I’m sure I’ve said that last bit out loud? Never!

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

Is it that we are all driven by some inner desire to be the hero? Or perhaps we’re just chasing the high that we know comes from scoring/winning? I don’t know what the answer is but I do think that when it comes to any group activity, understanding our role in the team is as key as understanding the overall objective. Imagine if every single soccer game had 8 Ronaldos, I say. Who would be the Ruud Krol (I’m giving away my age) to help the goalie in the back? I think I’ve made my point.

As for adults, we don’t easily master the sharing thing either despite our pretenses. True sharing implies empathy: the ability to get into another’s mind and see things from their viewpoint. How many of us can truly say that we can do that?

I’m working on less of ME and more of WE.

…unless it comes to leftovers in the fridge. Then it’s me, me, me all the way. Junior School-sport style:-)

Lee

Dear Barbara Streisand: “People who need people are indeed the luckiest people in the world”

What could go wrong on a morning when all the traffic lights are out?

Well, I packed some hot dog rolls into a Woolies shopping bag together with some cheese grillers and set off to gym. Stay with me – the hot dogs and gym visual is true.

The plan was to give the food away before it expired without my husband finding out. Long story…

I never quite made it to the gym (no surprises there) but I decided to sit down for some scrambled eggs instead. Just before I picked a spot, I saw someone I could give the food away to. The man sells Homeless Talk, a newspaper that I have seen a million times but never bought.

As I sat down at the cafe for my breakfast, I reached for my wallet to put the parking ticket in the spot where I always put my parking ticket and that’s when I realised that my wallet was in the black hot dog bag! The plan had been to stick the empty shopping bag into my gym bag, that’s how my purse ended up inside. Note to self: forget gym.

When I related the story to my children later that afternoon, sure I added some drama but essentially:

I had no cash to get out of the parking lot and had to make some decisions quickly.

So I asked the parking lady for a free pass. Sure, she said.

The cafe owner said that I come could totally have stayed for a free breakfast.

I opened my banking app to see if there had been any transactions. Cancel Cards/Not? Pause, I decided.

As I drove up the road towards the Homeless Talk seller, I saw him holding out the Mykonos blue purse with a look that said, “………..!”

The kids screamed “Nice hot dog lady!” but the man’s face really screamed “dumb blonde!” I was guilty as charged on both counts.

But here’s what this story is really about: people people, people.

We are all just people who need people. And that’s how we all get by. By needing people and by allowing people to need us. Barbara Streisand was right.

Lee

P.S. I couldn’t find much info online re Homeless Talk but the lovely guy selling his is at the garage near St Davids in Inanda close to Summer place:-) Didn’t catch his name. Don’t tell him you know me.

Are YOU afraid to face your shadow?

If you suppress your pain and sadness deep enough, avoid your tears and hide your insecurities long enough… you will definitely achieve all your goals and master your life!  

Bull, right? This could not actually be further from the truth. 

When you suppress your hard moments you deny yourself something so, so vital. Doing this holds you back from moving in the direction of the light – the place where you flourish. Instead, the shadow takes up a bigger space in your life and begins to get to work right away. It sabotages your career, love life, health, and your sense of purpose. It robs you of achieving any of the stuff on your vision board. 

And the more you try and hide from your shadow, the more it thrives! Just like that yucky mould at the bottom of the veggie draw. The more you try and hide your feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, betrayal, and not being good enough, the more the monster thrives. 

I’ve got a doctorate in denying my feelings. (Not literally, you silly kids!) It is rooted in my difficult childhood. But I’ve been working on the unlearning for pretty much my entire adult life. There is a lot to get through! 

My unlearning has taught me a couple of things: 

• You can’t break patterns you’re not willing to acknowledge 

• Self-sabotage ruins relationships and stops us from growing 

• You cannot escape your shadow 

Only when we finally step up to doing the work do we begin to break free of the cycles of victimhood, procrastination, and feeling like an imposter. That’s when we begin to LIVE! 

THANK YOU for listening without judgment and “holding space” for me while I continue my learning and unlearning.

I wish every success with breaking free from anything holding you back from living the life of your dreams.

Thank you again, 

Lee 

Coronavirus, Anxiety & Thanksgiving

I was driving to my son’s Christmas market yesterday having just received notice from school about a Grade 1 pupil with Covid-19. My nerves were in a twist.

Since last Thanksgiving, about 5million people have died, South Africa is headed for a “fourth wave” and a new variant of the Corona virus (Omicron?) seems to be our next big threat. No wonder, I thought, No bloody wonder scientists have had to coin a new term. “Covid-19 Anxiety Syndrome” says it all. This pandemic has messed with our heads and we will have scars for many years to come.

Before we walked into the market, I spent some time alone to get grounded and centered. When I felt ready, I headed straight to the bar. That’s when I bumped into someone I haven’t seen for about 2 years. The first thing we spoke about was her cancer. “I heard you were ill,” I said, “How are you feeling?”

She generously took me through her journey, right from the lump she found in her breast and later her armpit to the double mastectomy, chemo and long road home. As she walked away with her two young children, something really stayed with me. She was so GRATEFUL! She told me that not only was she grateful to be alive but she was sooooooo touched people! Naturally, her friends and family were there to support her but it was the random meal drop-offs, help with the kids, kind words, flowers and support from people in her neighborhood that touched her big time.

The sense of gratitude helped to shift her focus from poor me to blessed-me! This despite the sadness, fear and trauma she is still working through.

Happy Thanksgiving Photo by Olenka Sergienko on Pexels.com

As the sun set, the sound of happy children, smell of boerie rolls, champagne glasses clanking and the odd glow in the dark toy lit me up inside. I was grateful for my good health, grateful for the wonderful night sky, my amazing mom friends and my tall, handsome boy who I watched laughing in the distance. But, like my old friend, it was the people that gave me the feels. Our community of love.

I wonder if scientists are going to coin a term called Covid-19 Gratitude Syndrome because just everything seems a little more special at this point in the game.

Lee

Overhearing a Compliment – It’s just magical!

Did you know that overhearing a compliment about yourself magnifies its impact by many hundreds of percentages?

I sort of knew this because I read it sometime back on one of the conscious parenting community blogs. It said that if you tell your child that she’s a wonderful, kind human being that she’s likely to roll her eyes but if she overhears someone else saying the exact same thing about her she’s far likely to believe it. Intriguing, right?

But think about it. Imagine you’re standing at a party and you overhear two people having a conversation about you. “She always looks amazing! Hot and kind? She is the full package!” Right? It would go straight to your heart.

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

That’s what happened to me when I read something one of my clients wrote this week. Cara Carozza, author of Many Gifts – Seeing beyond the Setbacks posted this on her blog:

“Lee is more than a writing coach to me. She has become a friend. But, it’s her work process that I am so grateful for. Lee is a dream weaver! She uses her intuitive gifts extensively in her work to get guidance for each project, each client, each moment. As she receives messages, Downloads, and guidance she very gently shares the information to check for resonance. In my case, Lee’s intuitive nudges were always spot on. It’s the best feeling to know that you are being supported energetically. Lee calls it “holding space” and I believe that this is the future of all things corporate. If we can use our hearts more, we all win.”

Someone sent Cara’s post to me and said, “Lee, Cara is right! You ARE a dream weaver. Thank you for everything.”

It was a wonderful feeling.

So I encourage you to compliment, compliment, compliment genuinely. You are sowing the seeds of inspiration.

Lee

Sunday Nights used to give me anxiety

I used to work in an office that sucked the life out of me. Come Sunday, my tummy would start doing somersaults.

 
This went on for many years. Now that I look back, I feel sorry for that girl. She became a victim. Didn’t she know that she had options?  

There are many chapters that come before the one I’m about to tell you about but I eventually had to make a choice. I could remain a victim or I could go where my heart was urging me to go. Thank goodness I chose the more scary option!

Working as a creative writer, ghostwriter and editor is my calling. I literally go to “work” every day and think “Mannnnn, how did I get so damn lucky?”

I’ve been working with a client based in California for the last 6 months. She started out looking for an editor and at the end of 6 months, we are both wondering how we are going to get by without our daily rapport. We developed a lovely friendship along the way. She’s into astrology and cannabis, I’m into storytelling and grammar and somewhere in the middle, we are both into mystery/magic/alchemy. Not one day of our work has felt like a slog! We have both grown through our collaboration.  

I edited her manuscript and her book will be published in just a few short days.  

My heart is full. My gratitude overflows. For “work”, for the opportunities that flow into my life, and mostly for my ability to recognise every one of my blessings.

May I never take them for granted,

Lee 

P.S. My special client is Cara Carozza and her website is: www.caracarozza.com 

Follow her for an injection of magic! 

This is the cover for her book. How amazing?

Would you hop on the Virtual PAY-AS-YOU-FEEL train?

When I lived in Amsterdam I used to go to a cafe called “Pay as you Feel”.

People would pop in, have a cup of coffee or something to eat and pay whatever they felt moved to. The kitchen was run by volunteers — often people with social/emotional hiccups — who needed to DO something. Their love language? Service, of course.

The cafe was on a busy high street with lots of tourists. I kept going back. At first because I’m a voyeur (don’t judge) and the cafe was a good spot to people-watch. Then I went back for another reason. It was the sense of satisfaction I got from giving. I mean, it’s cool to buy a cup of coffee (almost anyone can do that) but knowing that I was making a difference was something else entirely.

I’d cycle across to the other side of this icy canal to get to my little happiness cafe

The memory of the cafe popped up again this week when I received a lovely surprise. I’ve been working with a client on rebranding after a long hiatus of being home and uninspired. We came up with a fresh marketing strategy, she launched her brand and set off – quite excited to start doing her thing. She also wanted some advice on starting a blog and I agreed to help her get started. It was my pleasure to help her do that. (I remember when I first got started. There weren’t that many people willing to help me. I always said I would be different) Helping her made ME feel good. That was payment enough but she was not convinced. So, early one morning, I saw a ping on my phone with a payment.

“But why?” I texted her.

“Think of it as a virtual Pay as you Feel Cafe, Lee.” (She remembered my story!)

My only thing left to do this week is to find a way to pay it forward. Why, you ask? Well, because I FEEL like it.

Perhaps you FEEL like joining me?

Lee