Hey, I’m Lee & I’m a sucker for punishment…NOT

Hi my lovely people

I’ve been working with contents of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for many years. Over the last 6 months, I’ve really dived deep into applying the principles to my life in order to hold myself to a higher standard in order to grow and evolve.  

For those of you not familiar with what this is, they are:

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word (Speak with integrity, say only what you mean, avoid gossip etc) 
2. Don’t take anything personally (Nothing others do is because of you. It is merely a projection of their own reality. i.e. You ain’t the victim, girl)
3. Don’t make assumptions (Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want to communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding) 
4. Always do your best (And remember that this changes from moment to moment depending on whether you are fit, happy, health, pms or not etc) 

Today, March 30th is the GRADUATION day I set for myself. Haha! I was planning to sit down at a nice cafe with my journal and go through a pack of notes I made re the challenges I faced during the 6 month application period. What can I say? I take this self-development shit seriously. Too much so sometimes. 

Just as I was getting ready for my graduation, I ran into a small problem. Guess what?….A bloody exam! I tell you, you just cannot make this stuff up. I stood face to face with a live exam paper in human form. 

Right, Miss Cocky, the voice inside my head said, Let’s See What You Got. 

The exam was tough. The person standing in front of me had war energy. I took two steps back, 3 deep breaths and then pressed play. 

1. I spoke with Integrity. Truth Only. 
2. I remembered that I was a mirror. Lee, this is not about YOU. This is not about YOU. 
3. I made no assumptions. I put on my brave girl bloomers and asked all the questions I needed to.
4. I did my very best. In my sweaty gear gear with a lump in my throat, I did not back down. 

I’m sharing my story with you today in case you need a strategy to get through a difficult situation. 

This 4 step method has helped me countless times and I am sure it will help you too.

Sending you so much love,

xoxo Lee 

Now off to that graduation celebration I go! 

Someone asked me HOW DO YOU PRAY?

Someone asked me how do you pray? The question threw me because I knew that she was not looking for a textbook answer.

I responded by saying that when we pray, we have to pause our human tendency toward doubt for a few minutes and then it’s simply a matter of surrender.” #boom

My prayers are simple. 1. I often start with a VISUALISATION where I picture handing over all the things that are weighing heavy on my heart:

Anxiety

Insecurity

Physical pain

Fear

I’ve learnt over the years not to ask for specific things or outcomes but rather to leave that up to the Creative Intelligence. Often what I think I want in a moment of crisis (a specific job, house or boy) is not the “answer”. The solutions that have come in Divine Timing have always been far more wonderful than my version.

2. Then once I feel light enough, I know I am better able to CONNECT TO A HIGHER FREQUENCY and that’s when my real prayer begins. It’s always a prayer for: Strength  Opportunity. Guided Direction & a Petition for those in need

3. And then, as one should, I always end off with a THANK YOU!

“Because l may not be a subject matter expert on prayer, but I sure know alot about the power of Gratitude and if that is the only prayer you ever say, well then you’re on your way!”

She insisted on paying for the coffee:-)

xoxo

Lee

I can buy myself flowers! I can hold my own hand!

Ahhh, I have a new favourite song! (Well, a new favourite to add to my list of 7000 favourites)

I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Miley! Miley! You’re talking my language Hannah Montana! Damn girl.

I do buy myself flowers. I’ve been taking myself on solo dates, solo hikes, solo holidays, solo everything since day dot.

Why? Well, I happen to like my own company. Just like I love me a good one-on-one date with my hot man, a book club session, moms night, and those boozy Sunday lunches with 50 of my closest family members (ha! ha!), I happen to love me a little diner pour un too.

I’ve never felt awkward about these things.

In fact, my sister Chrissy reminded me just last week of the time when I was 14 years old and took myself out to a fancy restaurant by bus, wearing my mom’s perfume – which I stole while she was at work. Yes, I know, I know! I was always a bit of an early-adopter…or what do they call them now…INFLUENCER? I sat down, surrounded by business people in their fancy suits having business lunches and ordered a Coca-Cola which I asked the waiter to pour into a wine glass. “I’ll have the…escargot” I probably said, trying to act fancy and not knowing that it was in fact snails, you know?

But you get the point.

Self-love, self-care, self-respect are not buzz words. The more you do it, the more you’ll find that what you’re looking for out there you can probably give yourself, given half a chance. And then when and IF you add other people, they’ll slot into the open spots you’ve created for them just beautifully. Right!? (Besides, another lesson I learnt age 14 is that sitting around and waiting to be taken out on a date is sooooooo last season. Beautiful sunsets wait for no man).

Listen to the Miley song guys.

Do the things,

xoxo

Lee

How to FEEL rich

Psychology says that it is easier for us to feel thankful when we surround ourselves with symbols of abundance.

* A bowl filled with fresh fruit (Freng Shui says oranges for the win!)

* A vase of fresh flowers (You don’t even have to buy the fancy stuff. I sometimes use whatever I can pick along my morning walks and pop them into an ordinary drinking glass!)

* A display of your finest wine/preserves/choccies

* Pictures of holidays, family celebrations and paintings of sunflowers/corn fields…things in full bloom. Use magazine cut-outs if you don’t have your own pics.

* A spritz of something that smells luxurious in the air or on your neck 

Photo by Any Lane

Every time you SEE/TOUCH/FEEL/SMELL those things you will tune into a HIGHER FREQUENCY.

The idea is to re-programme your sub-conscious. Very soon you will start believing:

There is always enough!

The world is rich and full of prosperity 

There is more than enough!

There is bounty all around me 

I am worthy of it all!

Join me this week, please. This is especially important when you don’t feel like you have enough. I know this feeling well. 

I see the light,  

xoxo Lee 

How to Manifest like a Bosssss in 2023

My Friends

2023 is just around the corner and I have one last story to share before we say goodbye to 2022:-)

I’m not really one to make “resolutions” but every year at Summer Solstice (21 December), I spend time on retreat. 

In 2021 I decided to do something slightly different and I hosted a beautiful Solstice Circle of Light for about 100 people in Johannesburg, together with Namaskar Wellness Hub. The evening was magnificent and everything was going according to plan as I guided everyone through the delicate writing process. We wrote about our Hero/Heroine’s Journey (yes, including the Covid shit show). Very gently around a bon-fire under the stars, we took turns to burn the words that poured from the losses, disappointments and fears. It was intense. 

The second part of the ceremony was “dreaming-in” the new but right before we were about to start part 2, I felt a bit faint and had to sit down.

That’s when I received the most special gift. I received a very clear message from my Guides :“First Give Thanks!”

It was incredible! But, I I had been so high on adrenaline and eager to get to the fun part where we made our wish lists for 2022, that I missed out on the one magical ingredient that always precedes great manifestation: GRATITUDE. 

I stood up and quickly changed gear. “Right everyone,” I said, “The next part of our exercise is to make a list of every little thing that made you smile this year. And thennnn……then we can get right on to drawing up our wish lists for 2022!” 

This year I wasted no time. I did my 2022 Stocktake in a little cove on the beach.

I wrote about what I had set out to achieve in 2022, how I slipped up along the way but kept my eye on the prize, the many allies/enemies/frenemies/traps/red herrings I encountered as well as the angels/heroines/superheroes and signposts that got me to the finish line. And my Gratitude List for 2022 was long! 

I was guided to share this story with you, just in case you aren’t really into making resolutions either but have been wanting to do something special to mark the end of the year. If so, perhaps you want to try my THREE part method?:-) I offer no guarantees of winning Lotto numbers but plenty assurance that the more you focus on giving thanks for what you already have, the better your chances of manifesting like a boss in 2023! 

I’m rooting for you,

xoxo

Lee

Summer Solstice & The Hero’s Journey Theme

Yesterday was 21/12/2021 – the longest day of the year in the Southern Hemisphere; the day celebrated as The Summer Solstice.

I was barefoot in the garden at sunset at a beautiful venue in JoBurg to host a writing workshop and Solstice Ceremony for 50 people. I was eager to get into my role.

Stories connect humanity. Without stories, we are empty. 

We listen to stories, so we can connect with others. We tell our stories, so we can heal. 

Every day, you are telling yourself a story from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep.

We tell ourselves stories so we can unpack and process what we have been through.

Everyone is a storyteller and I stand by my previous sentiments that everyone has a story that only they can tell.

So we wrote with abandon.

We worked with the classic theme The Hero/Heroine’s Journey because let’s face it, us Heroes have been weighed down by stuff (God, we are living through a pandemic and trying to keep our shit together!) 

Our hearts have been heavy

We have become well acquainted with fear, control, anxiety, jealousy, feelings of deep darkness 

We have lost people

Seen suffering on a level that we have not seen in our lifetime 

And we have been walking with a constant threat…Is this nightmare over yet? 

…And yet, there is the part of all our stories that will tell of crossing the threshold (as the Hero/ine does in the theory) and entering a brand new chapter of our lives where we truly are victorious.

That’s really what we all want and there’s really where the energy of the Solstice was guiding us.

Always towards the Light!

After our writing, we moved on to the Fire Ceremony where we burnt the words that poured from our darkness. I said, “Watch your letter burn. Watch the paper become ashes. Watch the smoke rise from the paper. Know that the materials of the ink and the paper have returned to the basic elements and you are free!”

And so it is,

Lee

If you would like to book me for your own Write & Burn Ceremony or any other Writing Workshops, my calendar for 2022 is now open!

A magical Part II to the Kind Stranger Story

Dear Friends

I’ve had so many responses to my story about the stranger who paid our bill yesterday. Thank you! How did I get so lucky to know so many wonderful people? I’m thinking about HOW I can get you all involved in something meaningful that we could do together. Thank you. 

That’s not why I am writing though.

Something even more wonderful happened after I published my story yesterday. One of my friends wrote a post on my Facebook early this morning to tell me how much she loved the idea of “paying it forward”. Like so many of you, she was also inspired. So, off she went to breakfast. She was sitting there, planning to paint the world with kindness today. She contacted me again a couple of hours later. Guess what happened to her? SOMEONE PAID HER BILL! I kid you not. 

I am absolutely blown away by the power of our intention. I know the theory. I just need to see it in the flesh every now and then. 

Don’t we all? 

xoxo

Lee 

ORIGINAL POST FROM YESTERDAY FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T SEE IT (plus a pic of the toastie you have been drooling over)

There are some really nasty people in this world. Trust me, I have had my fair share of them over recent months. From the word-twister to the gaslighter, from family members playing one against the other to the repeat cry-wolf types. 

But, damn there are some amazing human beings on this planet.And, again I didn’t really have to travel very far (not that I could) to find them. 

Just this morning, I was sitting with a friend having one of my most favourite meals : a piece of sourdough toast, slathered with a thick layer of hummus, topped with sliced avocado, grilled balsamic basted baby tomatoes, a couple of blocks of rich Danish feta, rocket and a poached egg. Yes, all on one piece of toast! 

If this be my last meal, make that a double portion of hummus, please! 

So, there I am, staring into my friend’s amazing emerald eyes (which seem to pop because of the absence of her hair which is tucked into her hijab) having a foodgasm when the waitress pops over to let us to knowsomeone paid our bill.  And, like every good superhero, they vanished without a trail. Can you imagine!?

My friend’s reaction was the one I want you to focus on though. She said “thank you. We’ll pay it forward!” 

I’m inspired guys! I’m inspired by what kindness can do. I’m inspired to give more and do more and be more. 

…and I think I am going to heed her call to action and pay it forward more than I usually do. With a full heart and grateful for all the moments that just land in my lap to remind me to focus on the things that matter. 

Will you join me?

xoxo

Lee

The courage to tell your story

Have you ever noticed that the people who behave the worst, are the ones who fancy themselves the hero/ine in the story?

I’ve been going through my notes from a recent Writing Course that I taught. It was a deep emotional kind of writing in the genre Memoir. What really interested me, was that when asked why they chose not to publish or share their writing, that a range of people all said the same thing : FEAR. (I remember saying that too when I first started publishing).

I took the time to really look at the profiles of the characters that they had written about that they most feared would react negatively. It wasn’t the public. It wasn’t Twitter trolls. It wasn’t some overly critical readers out there in Cyberspace. No, the characters in their TRUE stories who my writers feared most were those closest to them! It was parents, siblings, loved ones.

As a result, the writers I am talking about became immobilised.

They were terrified of being called gaslighters, drama kings and queens, liars or being told that they were bringing up old secrets that were best left under the dirty carpet.

Sound familiar? I thought you would say yes.

The issue is universal and it does not only relate to writing. It’s a people issue.

As a writing coach though, my job is really only to facilitate a process, to guide and mentor, to edit and teach technical aspects. I would never push anyone to write or share that which they are not ready to do BUT I will (and did) say this:

• It is YOUR story
• You decide how you write the characters
• The ones that have a problem with their characteristics, should have behaved better
• How your truth lands is something out of your control
• But tell your story, YOU MUST

Perhaps my little pep talk has gotten you thinking? Do you have a story you want to write or share? I offer a range of writing and coaching services, which you can see on my website www.leemayimele.com

Remember, this is YOUR story and we all have a story that only we can tell. Truth is magic!

xoxo

Lee

I fell into a TRAP recently…

I fell into a trap recently. The VICTIM TRAP.

Now, if any of you have ever been down this path, you will know that:   

1. It’s warm and comfy  
2. Pointing fingers is your life
3. Taking accountability is out of the question 
4. Complacency (aka sheer laziness) is standard 
5. Deflection is your go-to strategy for everything 

It took me a run-in with someone who has been in victim mode for over 25 years to come to my senses!  I noticed that I felt drained each time we met.  At first, I tried not to judge and just to listen.  But, listening also took too much energy, so I had to be careful.

The reasons she gave for her approach to life were full of excuses. The other thing that struck me was that she did a whole manner of naughty and ugly things, and that the victims of these antics, were often those closest to her.  Because, you know, LIFE HAS BEEN HARD! 

Hell no! The mirror she held up to me showed me who I definitely did not want to be.  

Wake up, young lady! I caught myself saying.  Smell that?  It’s the smell of being POWERLESS.  Not your vibe, girl!   

So, I found myself some help and returned to the shore of accountability, taking little steps to get back into the driving seat.  Ahhhh, that felt more ME! It hasn’t been easy.  I’ve had to face up to little habits I’ve developed over the years, which needed to be checked (and no one in the history of human kind likes being poked and prodded like that). But hey, this is my work!  

 
Perhaps I could interest you in a SELF-CHECK this week? Are you a victim or are you, like me, in recovery and working hard to stay healthy?

Let me know.  I’m sending you love.  

xoxo

Lee