Teach People How to Treat You

So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?

I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.

I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).

For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.

The ones I liked most were:

What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?

&

How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?

Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!

I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.

Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.

Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).

So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?

TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.

Wishing you Courage Always,

Lee

P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).

Boundaries 101

I’VE SPENT THE LAST 21 DAYS WITH OPRAH & DEEPAK CHOPRA

I’ve spent the last 21 days with Oprah and Deepak Chopra.

We meet 5am daily, just after I have had a coffee, when the world is still fresh and my heart open.  Our shared passion is HOPE IN UNCERTAIN TIMES.

Every day is the same.  Oprah goes first. She tells a short story of times when she lost hope or how hope guided her back home. My goosebumps tells me that I’ve been there too. I mean, we all have. Hope is what got me through many a bloody and painful day.  It still does.  Just recently, in fact, I have had dig deep in my drawer of compassion in order to deal with difficult individuals who I can only describe as malicious and deceitful.  HOPE is the muscle I used to frame a vision of them returning to the light one day.

Next, Deepak gets me ready to pray.  The sun is usually beginning to make its way up. We begin with a “centering thought”. My favourite has been “being at peace is my greatest strength”.   Deepak takes me through a preparation for meditation with a short lecture. We get comfy, accept a Sanskrit mantra, a bell goes off and we meditate together for about 20 minutes, after which the bell goes off again and we release the mantra.  

It has been incredible! The expanded awareness is lovely. The deep sense of connection to Spirit so comforting.

It is said that HOPE is the word inscribed into the heart of every human being.  Always a tomorrow. Always another day. Always!

Sometimes we just need a little reminding.

Lee

P.S. Here are the details of the mediation if you’re interested.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience#

Gratitude: A Short Reflection

I am messing up on so many fronts. But gosh, I am winning on so many others.

 

And so, I remain focused.

Focused on this very moment, I notice the morning light on my tomato tree, I hear the faint news of political turmoil and earth tremors. I notice the missing tooth on my girl’s perfect face. I feel the sun streaming onto my son’s dreads as I step into a puddle of spilled milk on the floor. I pick up some pretty ballet shoes, get a whiff of a sexy man’s perfume in the passage. I open a few emails, watch the the phone ringing endlessly.

And I know for sure, I am holding on to the little things.

Because let’s face it, those little things are the big things.

This is my life. And I only have one.

 

#gratitude #reflections #balance #thismoment #mindfullness #mylife

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2017

 

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