So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?
I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.
I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).
For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.
The ones I liked most were:
What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?
How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?
Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!
I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.
Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.
Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).
So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?
TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.
Wishing you Courage Always,
P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).