Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself in the shower

In the car 

In all the spaces where you cry alone, smile alone and think of all the dreams that slipped away 

Forgive yourself for all you wish you had shared when you had plenty 

All the sunsets you didn’t lift your head to notice

All those days when you tried but fell flat on your face

And buried your tears under tons of fake smiles, makeup, noise and wine 

Forgive yourself for the jealous moments 

The ugly sessions of gossip and untruths 

Forgive yourself for not finishing what you started and not doing what you promised

Forgive yourself for staying 

And going 

And waiting 

And watching days turn into months turn into years of what ifs 

Forgive yourself for not taking a chance 

And for taking too many chances 

On the same old same old people and things that could-have/should-have/would-have but didn’t 

Forgive yourself for losing hope 

For looking outside for answers

For all the opportunities to grow and stretch and break free that offered you a ride you didn’t take

Forgive yourself for the seasons that went by in a flash 

For forgetting where you come from

For comparing yourself to people whose paths appear lighter than your own

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself sooner

…and breathe! 

xoxo Lee

~Written on a cold, Joburg morning while sitting on my kitchen floor where I saw the perfect sunny spot. I crawled up to it, grabbed a piece of paper, and let the download come in. Just like the sun!

Photo by Sigrid Abalos

Burn, Baby Burn!? – I need your suggestions

Hey Friends

As you know, I practice GRATITUDE daily but I also have a weekly practice that I want to share with you.  I’ve been practicing this for over 15 years now.  

Every Monday morning, I wake up just a little earlier than 5am (which is my usual prayer and meditation hour).  The extra 15 minutes gives me time to time to write down stuff some.  

I look to the week ahead and ask for special help with all “challenges” that are imminent.  Deadlines, people, …things that I know are going to be hard!  I write them down and I BURN that piece of paper.  

The act of burning doesn’t make the challenges magically vanish! Don’t be silly.  It simply empowers me to see them for what they are. Things that can be sorted. Some by me, some by others, some in the skies in ways I may never understand.  Right?!

A Monday “ritual”

Here’s where I need your help, friends:
I’m looking for a NAME for this practice of burning the piece of paper.  
Let me know if you have any ideas.

And do let me know if you are going to try it too.  I would be so honoured! 

xoxo

Lee

Have you heard of THE VAULT?

I want you to imagine for a second that you can tap into a VAULT.

Inside the vault is a bunch of templates, all neatly filed and labeled. Templates for happinesss, vitality, prosperity and abundance. Everywhere you turn, more templates for creativity, joy, peace and all the other things us humans need and want in order to live a fulfilled life.

What if I told you that the only way you can ACCESS that vault is through NOT wanting or needing those things? Right! You would give me the look.

Man, oh man, have I been there before too. I was like WTF!?

Have you ever noticed how the more we want something, the more we chase something, the more we desperately claw at the things, the more they seem to slip away? Think of yourself on the dating scene/job hunting/trying to fall pregnant. And, the moment you release it, boom!!…there it is? Rightttt?

I’ve found (after many years of bumping my head) that the fastest way to attract something is to release my attachment to it and to BE HAPPY ANYWAY. That energy of Surrender and Non Attachment is magnetic. It is a vibration of trust and faith that gets me straight into the vault.

Happy!

TRY IT! Simply ask yourself WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY? My list includes:

• Going to bed at 8pm
• 5am Meditation
• Going for a run
• Writing
• Learning spiritual “secrets”
• Red wine with my dad
• Writing
• Cooking for and with my children
• Travel
• The Ocean
• Fashion (gosh, I love fashion more than I realised)
• Playtime
• Karaoke and a bowl of hummus?! BAM!! I am happy as a kid in Krispy Kreme.

The Wise Ones have always told us that INSPIRED people are magnets for the stuff inside the vault and I think were right.

Perhaps you are inspired by opera, animals, karate, salsa and gardening? Just do more of that and let the vibration of JOY carry you.

See you inside the vault?

xoxo

Lee

P.S. Allow me to wish you a wonderful weekend and for my Jewish friends, a wonderful and SWEET new year.

Do What you LOVE & the rest will follow…

I want to tell you a quick story about my book, Musings – Reflections of Gratitude.

When I wrote it, I thought I had accomplished my mission. I thought it would go into bookstores and I could sit my bottom down to rest and write again. But, life had other plans for me.

For a good year and a half now, I have been signing copies of this book. I kid you not. It has gone to print over 6 times and not a week goes by without a stream of corporate gifts walking out of my front door. Each person who bought it, seemed to think of many other people (moms, friends, grannies, colleagues) to whom they wanted to gift the book.

Don’t laugh! That’s my game face (tongue & all)

There are many nights when I find myself sitting at my dining room table, surrounded by hundreds of pink gift bags, pink ribbon, pink tissue paper with my little people packing the personalised books signed Mary, Sophie, Lebo, Maria, Fatima et al.

You see, what I have come to realise about this book, is that my job was not simply to write it, my job was to LIVE it. That is, the lesson about giving and receiving. About being truly grateful.

It has truly been a labour of LOVE, one which I have truly been rewarded for over and over again.

Talking about love, support and all things gifty, I’ve partnered with the lovely mom duo Debbie and Lauren from The Domestic Dolls for Women’s month and you can order signed copies of the very book for your besties, your bookclub, your staff members and all the wonderful women in your life through this website : https://the-domestic-dolls.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/musings-reflections-of-gratitude

Don’t forget to tell them how grateful you are for all they are and all they do.

xoxo

Lee

Teach People How to Treat You

So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?

I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.

I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).

For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.

The ones I liked most were:

What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?

&

How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?

Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!

I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.

Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.

Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).

So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?

TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.

Wishing you Courage Always,

Lee

P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).

Boundaries 101

The Power of NOW

I remember this particular morning. I had barely slept because our new baby was was breastfeeding on demand, and well…that night his demand was every 10 minutes. 

I had gone out walking and my husband had come to find me. I saw him coming towards me with my little girl in her stroller and my son strapped tightly to his chest in a sling when he reached into his pocket and took this pic.

We were in a little village in Spain for a few weeks in August in 2013 (can’t believe that’s already 6/7years ago!).

At the time, my head was always in TOMORROW. I looked forward to better days to come. A better body, more sleep, more freedom, getting back to my career, giving my vision board a fresh wipe. I thought that I’d dive straight back into my old corporate life and it would be fabulous! 

But honestly, I never did go back to my old life. The universe had already changed my shit around to align things to my new vibration. 

The Power of NOW

Now is where LOVE breathes – Rumi

When I look at this pic now, I think: NOW! NOW, girl! THIS MOMENT. Not tomorrow. Not after Covid-19. Not when your kids are grown or when you feel ready.

NOW is the perfect moment.

Always. 

xoxo

Lee

#tbt #musings #powerofnow #love #Gratitude

Wanna join me for a cold shower?

I’ve been taking cold showers for about 15 years now.

I can’t remember where exactly I first read about the benefits, but I do remember thinking that I would absolutely die the first time I tried it.

Photo by Vecislavas Popa on Pexels.com

I’ve never used a guide or any scientific methodology for my shower routine but I trusted the way it made me FEEL and I went a little longer than 10 seconds every day.

Then, for a few weeks now, I’ve been wanting to learn something new to add to my meditation practice.  I honestly felt drawn to include something physical.  Yoga?  Some martial arts?  That’s how I came across The Wim Hof Method.  It turns out Wim is the boss of all things cold water and exactly the answer to my prayer.

“When you go into cold water, you learn to breathe deeply—automatically and naturally. Your blood vessels constrict, giving your vascular system a complete workout. This is the flow of life force itself, and you can learn to regulate it. ” ~ Wim Hof

Aha!  I signed up for a course with him right away.  Over the next couple of weeks, I know I’m going to want to cry as I’m asked to go colder and deeper.  I mean, this is the dude who climbed Kilimanjaro in shorts & swims under icebergs!

That said, I’m excited to learn about: 

• the potential of the breath to alkalise the blood
• how to boost our oxygen intake
• using cold water to release chemicals in the brain to benefit the body

So, now that you’ve got the lowdown, are you keen to join me for that cold shower sometime?  If not, are you going to listen to that little voice of your own, giving you direction about your own journey of self-care, self-mastery and learning?

I think you will…

Lee 

For more info about The Wim Hof Method

http://www.wimhofmethod.com

I’VE SPENT THE LAST 21 DAYS WITH OPRAH & DEEPAK CHOPRA

I’ve spent the last 21 days with Oprah and Deepak Chopra.

We meet 5am daily, just after I have had a coffee, when the world is still fresh and my heart open.  Our shared passion is HOPE IN UNCERTAIN TIMES.

Every day is the same.  Oprah goes first. She tells a short story of times when she lost hope or how hope guided her back home. My goosebumps tells me that I’ve been there too. I mean, we all have. Hope is what got me through many a bloody and painful day.  It still does.  Just recently, in fact, I have had dig deep in my drawer of compassion in order to deal with difficult individuals who I can only describe as malicious and deceitful.  HOPE is the muscle I used to frame a vision of them returning to the light one day.

Next, Deepak gets me ready to pray.  The sun is usually beginning to make its way up. We begin with a “centering thought”. My favourite has been “being at peace is my greatest strength”.   Deepak takes me through a preparation for meditation with a short lecture. We get comfy, accept a Sanskrit mantra, a bell goes off and we meditate together for about 20 minutes, after which the bell goes off again and we release the mantra.  

It has been incredible! The expanded awareness is lovely. The deep sense of connection to Spirit so comforting.

It is said that HOPE is the word inscribed into the heart of every human being.  Always a tomorrow. Always another day. Always!

Sometimes we just need a little reminding.

Lee

P.S. Here are the details of the mediation if you’re interested.

https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience#

A BIG SHIFT – AHA!

A couple of years ago, I sat at my desk, staring at a pile of papers for hours.  

I was required to do a recon of expenses for the company I was working for at the time, but because I had been running on empty for months, I just sat there unable to move. 

My doctor called it “adrenal fatigue and burnout” but I knew that there was more.  But, like so many a corporate animal, I limped along from one deadline to the next trying to prove that I was invincible when in fact the ground was giving way beneath my feet. 

I won’t tell you exactly how that chapter ended because you’ll have to wait to buy my second book. (SURPRISE SURPRISE! Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing all this time.  I’ve been writing.  Sorry if you’ve missed my weekly stories  I had to put my head down and focus.  I’ve also written about why I could not blog during this time of writing my book. It was a “spiritual” directive)

 

Back to the story of the ADRENAL FATIGUE,

Yes, I was drained by my work because it was not aligned to my PURPOSE.   I kept getting this nagging feeling that I had to make more time for my “inner work”.

Why couldn’t I just fast forward to the part where I get the new role in the new life I wanted?

Frustrated at first, I began to make time for what I believed to be the INNER WORK. Daily meditation, prayer, study, study.  I consulted with my guides, teachers, coaches, mentors and spent many hours in prayer and solitude.

Still, something was missing.  Until one morning, just as I stepped out of my cold shower (Get your mind out of the gutter! I’ve been taking cold showers for over 20 years for their circulation and immune boosting benefits!)

Ahaaaaa!  I felt a voice say in answer to my repeated question about how to inject more purpose and magic into my life in order to grow and prosper.  The answer was quite simple:  PLAY! LAUGH! DANCE! CONNECT! 

That’s it, I thought. That’s exactly what was missing.  Those words described me so well but why was I not committing to those things in the same way as I was to the other “important” things in my life?

Exactly!  Following my BLISS is now my “inner work” and I am very committed to it.  

Perhaps I can tempt you to join me?

 

xoxo

Lee

 

I remember the day I was born (A “crazy” story about a memory)

Guess what?  I have the very vaguest recollection of something said to me on the day I was born.  I kid you not.

 

Yes, I know that sounds crazy but just today, while I sat up at 5am waiting for the sun to rise, I sort of remembered it from 40 years ago. Honestly, I did.

Now, there were quite a few people present at my birth (it was a home delivery with a house full of people) so it could have been anyone. I recall an actual whisper of something into my ear.  I also know for sure that it was sweet and that it told me of the blessings that would lie ahead for me.  Perhaps it was a prayer? Perhaps it was simply a “welcome”?  I mean, it could even have been angels, ancestors or my own soul’s voice saying “oh hi” because it had been here before?

 

Now, I get that you’re thinking that I’ve truly lost the plot this time  (and that’s always a possibility) but I implore you to trust me on this one. So, please do listen to my story a little while longer…

 

Of course it could have been a dream. Of course it could just be something I saw in a movie.  But, have you considered that it could totally be true?!  That I remember?

 

Isn’t that magical?

 

Isn’t that just why we’re on this planet?

To crack open the magic?

To listen to “wild” stories?

To experience miracles?

To explore the various aspects of “possibility”, both of things we understand and accept and then more importantly of the things which are not widely understood and accepted but are certainly no less of a “truth”?

 

I thought you’d say YES!

 

Because here’s the thing. That’s what we ALL want:

To engage the MAGIC,

To understand our PURPOSE,

To explore all aspects of the mystical, spiritual DIVINE and to excite one another with our unique expressions of what we see/feel/taste/sense/remember as we go along.

 

YES, there it is! I see that little light flickering in your heart’s memory too. Go there…it’s your work!

 

© Aluta continua, as they say.  A Heart Full of Stories, 2017

 

 

 

 

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