One person for a lifetime OR …

Someone asked me if I believe that we are supposed to be with ONE PERSON FOR A LIFETIME.  I responded frankly. I said that I was “not Oprah” so could not offer a Soul Sunday sort of answer.  But, my belief was that we did need to be with ONE PERSON AT A TIME. He called me “quite a deep serial monogamist”. I had to laugh! It had quite a nice ring to it.

 

As far as my statement went. I must say. it was one of those moments when something profound comes out of your mouth and you are left wondering where exactly it sprouted. Did you read it? Did you dream it? Did some romcom plant it?  I said “one person at a time” and it did sound rather Oprah afterall.

 

So there I sat, finishing my cocktail and contemplating fidelity with a feeling that the issue wanted me to sit with it a while. Reflecting and dissecting.  And that’s what I did in my morning meditation.

 

I came to the conclusion that relationships are funny things and that monogamy is indeed a choice. Not an everyday sort of choice, like pizza/no pizza.   It’s a call you have to make again and again and, because we’re ever changing spiritual beings living in blood & energy bodies, shit is changing all the time. We are changing all the time.  Our partners are changing all the time.  Variables are changing and life is throwing us a million little plots and subplots, each with its own peaks and dips. So, who are we to say that our “choices” will always reflect that exact perfect tune which we set out to dance to, when we first commit to being with just one person?

 

For me, the answer lies in holding to the fantasy. The dream. That vision of ONE person. A shared life. One common plot. Plugging into a central system wired so intricately, that the magnet automatically pulls you both back in when you need it most. (And yes, that last sentence is another such moment when I wonder where on earth those words came from!?)

 

Today, I am grateful for the inspired thoughts.

 

Alow me to wish you well on your journey.  May you always be guided to make the choices that honour the highest version of you.

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2016

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Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Sisters, Two Hearts

She saw her sister through the window.

She had to look twice because her sister was laughing.  She also gave the pig a high five.

Then, her sister came back into the house and said “He is such a loser!”

The feelings stung her hard. 

Her sister was right.  He was a loser!  A big one.  He had just gotten a third woman pregnant and had walked out on his own children. Plus, the tales of his violent ways and other affairs around town were all coming to the fore.

So, if he was such a loser, then why had her sister been laughing with him?  What were they talking about?  What was so funny?  What message did it send to him?  What did it say about her? 

The thoughts stung harder.

Her immediate reaction was to say nothing.  She was so good at that.  The ability to say nothing had served her well.  So well that no one knew about her abusive marriage of 25 years.

Then she made a decision.

She decided to close a slot in her heart.  Right in the uppermost corner.  The slot that her sister had always occupied.  She just jammed it shut.  She jammed it with anger and memories of  other indiscretions.  The combination of raw materials was very effective.  It weathered many sweet attempts at breaking and entering very well.  It just stayed shut.

Her sister is in counselling.  Something about a “distant sister”, “family torn apart”, “where did I go wrong?”

And the heart with one shut chamber is in counselling too.  Something about “having left things too long”, “drawing the line”, “creating boundaries” and “moving forward”.

Both sisters have my prayers for whole hearts.

Aluta continua, I say.  The road is long.

 

© Lee-Ann Mayimele & A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.