Hey, I’m Lee & I’m a sucker for punishment…NOT

Hi my lovely people

I’ve been working with contents of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for many years. Over the last 6 months, I’ve really dived deep into applying the principles to my life in order to hold myself to a higher standard in order to grow and evolve.  

For those of you not familiar with what this is, they are:

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word (Speak with integrity, say only what you mean, avoid gossip etc) 
2. Don’t take anything personally (Nothing others do is because of you. It is merely a projection of their own reality. i.e. You ain’t the victim, girl)
3. Don’t make assumptions (Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want to communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding) 
4. Always do your best (And remember that this changes from moment to moment depending on whether you are fit, happy, health, pms or not etc) 

Today, March 30th is the GRADUATION day I set for myself. Haha! I was planning to sit down at a nice cafe with my journal and go through a pack of notes I made re the challenges I faced during the 6 month application period. What can I say? I take this self-development shit seriously. Too much so sometimes. 

Just as I was getting ready for my graduation, I ran into a small problem. Guess what?….A bloody exam! I tell you, you just cannot make this stuff up. I stood face to face with a live exam paper in human form. 

Right, Miss Cocky, the voice inside my head said, Let’s See What You Got. 

The exam was tough. The person standing in front of me had war energy. I took two steps back, 3 deep breaths and then pressed play. 

1. I spoke with Integrity. Truth Only. 
2. I remembered that I was a mirror. Lee, this is not about YOU. This is not about YOU. 
3. I made no assumptions. I put on my brave girl bloomers and asked all the questions I needed to.
4. I did my very best. In my sweaty gear gear with a lump in my throat, I did not back down. 

I’m sharing my story with you today in case you need a strategy to get through a difficult situation. 

This 4 step method has helped me countless times and I am sure it will help you too.

Sending you so much love,

xoxo Lee 

Now off to that graduation celebration I go! 

Someone asked me HOW DO YOU PRAY?

Someone asked me how do you pray? The question threw me because I knew that she was not looking for a textbook answer.

I responded by saying that when we pray, we have to pause our human tendency toward doubt for a few minutes and then it’s simply a matter of surrender.” #boom

My prayers are simple. 1. I often start with a VISUALISATION where I picture handing over all the things that are weighing heavy on my heart:

Anxiety

Insecurity

Physical pain

Fear

I’ve learnt over the years not to ask for specific things or outcomes but rather to leave that up to the Creative Intelligence. Often what I think I want in a moment of crisis (a specific job, house or boy) is not the “answer”. The solutions that have come in Divine Timing have always been far more wonderful than my version.

2. Then once I feel light enough, I know I am better able to CONNECT TO A HIGHER FREQUENCY and that’s when my real prayer begins. It’s always a prayer for: Strength  Opportunity. Guided Direction & a Petition for those in need

3. And then, as one should, I always end off with a THANK YOU!

“Because l may not be a subject matter expert on prayer, but I sure know alot about the power of Gratitude and if that is the only prayer you ever say, well then you’re on your way!”

She insisted on paying for the coffee:-)

xoxo

Lee

I can buy myself flowers! I can hold my own hand!

Ahhh, I have a new favourite song! (Well, a new favourite to add to my list of 7000 favourites)

I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Miley! Miley! You’re talking my language Hannah Montana! Damn girl.

I do buy myself flowers. I’ve been taking myself on solo dates, solo hikes, solo holidays, solo everything since day dot.

Why? Well, I happen to like my own company. Just like I love me a good one-on-one date with my hot man, a book club session, moms night, and those boozy Sunday lunches with 50 of my closest family members (ha! ha!), I happen to love me a little diner pour un too.

I’ve never felt awkward about these things.

In fact, my sister Chrissy reminded me just last week of the time when I was 14 years old and took myself out to a fancy restaurant by bus, wearing my mom’s perfume – which I stole while she was at work. Yes, I know, I know! I was always a bit of an early-adopter…or what do they call them now…INFLUENCER? I sat down, surrounded by business people in their fancy suits having business lunches and ordered a Coca-Cola which I asked the waiter to pour into a wine glass. “I’ll have the…escargot” I probably said, trying to act fancy and not knowing that it was in fact snails, you know?

But you get the point.

Self-love, self-care, self-respect are not buzz words. The more you do it, the more you’ll find that what you’re looking for out there you can probably give yourself, given half a chance. And then when and IF you add other people, they’ll slot into the open spots you’ve created for them just beautifully. Right!? (Besides, another lesson I learnt age 14 is that sitting around and waiting to be taken out on a date is sooooooo last season. Beautiful sunsets wait for no man).

Listen to the Miley song guys.

Do the things,

xoxo

Lee

How to FEEL rich

Psychology says that it is easier for us to feel thankful when we surround ourselves with symbols of abundance.

* A bowl filled with fresh fruit (Freng Shui says oranges for the win!)

* A vase of fresh flowers (You don’t even have to buy the fancy stuff. I sometimes use whatever I can pick along my morning walks and pop them into an ordinary drinking glass!)

* A display of your finest wine/preserves/choccies

* Pictures of holidays, family celebrations and paintings of sunflowers/corn fields…things in full bloom. Use magazine cut-outs if you don’t have your own pics.

* A spritz of something that smells luxurious in the air or on your neck 

Photo by Any Lane

Every time you SEE/TOUCH/FEEL/SMELL those things you will tune into a HIGHER FREQUENCY.

The idea is to re-programme your sub-conscious. Very soon you will start believing:

There is always enough!

The world is rich and full of prosperity 

There is more than enough!

There is bounty all around me 

I am worthy of it all!

Join me this week, please. This is especially important when you don’t feel like you have enough. I know this feeling well. 

I see the light,  

xoxo Lee 

Early to Bed, Early to Rise – Is this the secret to Health, Wealth & Wisdom

Early to bed

Early to rise 

Makes a (wo)man healthy, wealthy and wise 

Benjamin Franklin

This is exactly what our creator had in mind when they finalised my factory settings!  

Few things make me happier than going to bed early + waking up early. It has definitely made me healthier and since good health is our true wealth, I’ll be the first to say thank you for being able to check the “wealth” box too (while I wait for the billions in the bank).  

As for being “wise”, I guess being able to recognise what I have in this moment is the real measure of wisdom for me.  

Am I wise enough to know that I don’t know?

Am I wise enough to know that every breath is a gift, every second in this body precious?

Am I wise enough to ask for help, change course, learn, stretch, surrender to both pleasure & pain?

Am I wise enough to never call myself wise

And, most importantly, 

Am I wise enough to know when a carefully timed double shot of Espresso is required because life is not linear and mine is no boarding school?

I’m learning.

I encourage you to be you, to share you, to celebrate you. Imagine how dull life would be if we all loved our orange juice with salt?

Lee 

I just love this little doodle my 8 year old did of me! He sure knows how much his mom loves her some Ed Sheeran “Bad Habits” in those mom jeans. As for the cute eyes, well…what can I say?

Gratitude Again!

Yogananda said: “Don’t wait for reversals to make you grateful for what you had.”

Shoo, that one hit me in the chest guys because let’s face it, this is our nature as human beings. We stare our healthy bodies/happy kids/safety/relationships/security/financial security/good fortune in the face and it’s only when we lose one of those things that we realize what we had going. Right?  

I’ve cultivated the habit of making a daily Gratitude List. In fact, I make several a day (on paper/on my phone) and I have done this for 15+ years. Every.Single.Day.  

It’s a bit like brushing my teeth or going out for my daily walk sometimes. It’s a slog! I can come up with a million reasons I should postpone starting it or not doing it at all, but once it’s done, I’m like … “Girl!?” 

My lists are often simple and things like my housekeeper Mavis, my children’s teachers and food top my list, but just yesterday, I had over 30 items on my Gratitude list. They just flowed. 

It was a simple, shitty Monday of chores, no-Mavis and dreary weather but I had things like:

1. Old McDonald had a farm (on the piano by an 8 year old!) 

2. Spinach from the garden 

3. Take away coffee from the hubs 

4. My Dishwasher 

5. Fireplace 

6. Bookclub stash 

8. Walk with Celeste

9. Home Office 

10. Birds galore 

11. Chats with school moms 

12. Found my keys! 

13. Boy scored goal in hockey (hates hockey) 

14. Girl happy to perform in school concert (eek) 

15. Great meeting with editor  

16. Prawn rissole from heaven

….okay, I’ll stop there but you get my drift.

I didn’t have to wait until my body was too sick to walk or my garden too barren to give me spinach to appreciate the glory of these little moments. I saw them and I winked in absolute gratitude for all the many blessings. 

And I tell you, the more I do this, the more I want to. Always.

Lee 

Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself in the shower

In the car 

In all the spaces where you cry alone, smile alone and think of all the dreams that slipped away 

Forgive yourself for all you wish you had shared when you had plenty 

All the sunsets you didn’t lift your head to notice

All those days when you tried but fell flat on your face

And buried your tears under tons of fake smiles, makeup, noise and wine 

Forgive yourself for the jealous moments 

The ugly sessions of gossip and untruths 

Forgive yourself for not finishing what you started and not doing what you promised

Forgive yourself for staying 

And going 

And waiting 

And watching days turn into months turn into years of what ifs 

Forgive yourself for not taking a chance 

And for taking too many chances 

On the same old same old people and things that could-have/should-have/would-have but didn’t 

Forgive yourself for losing hope 

For looking outside for answers

For all the opportunities to grow and stretch and break free that offered you a ride you didn’t take

Forgive yourself for the seasons that went by in a flash 

For forgetting where you come from

For comparing yourself to people whose paths appear lighter than your own

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself sooner

…and breathe! 

xoxo Lee

~Written on a cold, Joburg morning while sitting on my kitchen floor where I saw the perfect sunny spot. I crawled up to it, grabbed a piece of paper, and let the download come in. Just like the sun!

Photo by Sigrid Abalos

Dear Barbara Streisand: “People who need people are indeed the luckiest people in the world”

What could go wrong on a morning when all the traffic lights are out?

Well, I packed some hot dog rolls into a Woolies shopping bag together with some cheese grillers and set off to gym. Stay with me – the hot dogs and gym visual is true.

The plan was to give the food away before it expired without my husband finding out. Long story…

I never quite made it to the gym (no surprises there) but I decided to sit down for some scrambled eggs instead. Just before I picked a spot, I saw someone I could give the food away to. The man sells Homeless Talk, a newspaper that I have seen a million times but never bought.

As I sat down at the cafe for my breakfast, I reached for my wallet to put the parking ticket in the spot where I always put my parking ticket and that’s when I realised that my wallet was in the black hot dog bag! The plan had been to stick the empty shopping bag into my gym bag, that’s how my purse ended up inside. Note to self: forget gym.

When I related the story to my children later that afternoon, sure I added some drama but essentially:

I had no cash to get out of the parking lot and had to make some decisions quickly.

So I asked the parking lady for a free pass. Sure, she said.

The cafe owner said that I come could totally have stayed for a free breakfast.

I opened my banking app to see if there had been any transactions. Cancel Cards/Not? Pause, I decided.

As I drove up the road towards the Homeless Talk seller, I saw him holding out the Mykonos blue purse with a look that said, “………..!”

The kids screamed “Nice hot dog lady!” but the man’s face really screamed “dumb blonde!” I was guilty as charged on both counts.

But here’s what this story is really about: people people, people.

We are all just people who need people. And that’s how we all get by. By needing people and by allowing people to need us. Barbara Streisand was right.

Lee

P.S. I couldn’t find much info online re Homeless Talk but the lovely guy selling his is at the garage near St Davids in Inanda close to Summer place:-) Didn’t catch his name. Don’t tell him you know me.

Summer Solstice & The Hero’s Journey Theme

Yesterday was 21/12/2021 – the longest day of the year in the Southern Hemisphere; the day celebrated as The Summer Solstice.

I was barefoot in the garden at sunset at a beautiful venue in JoBurg to host a writing workshop and Solstice Ceremony for 50 people. I was eager to get into my role.

Stories connect humanity. Without stories, we are empty. 

We listen to stories, so we can connect with others. We tell our stories, so we can heal. 

Every day, you are telling yourself a story from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep.

We tell ourselves stories so we can unpack and process what we have been through.

Everyone is a storyteller and I stand by my previous sentiments that everyone has a story that only they can tell.

So we wrote with abandon.

We worked with the classic theme The Hero/Heroine’s Journey because let’s face it, us Heroes have been weighed down by stuff (God, we are living through a pandemic and trying to keep our shit together!) 

Our hearts have been heavy

We have become well acquainted with fear, control, anxiety, jealousy, feelings of deep darkness 

We have lost people

Seen suffering on a level that we have not seen in our lifetime 

And we have been walking with a constant threat…Is this nightmare over yet? 

…And yet, there is the part of all our stories that will tell of crossing the threshold (as the Hero/ine does in the theory) and entering a brand new chapter of our lives where we truly are victorious.

That’s really what we all want and there’s really where the energy of the Solstice was guiding us.

Always towards the Light!

After our writing, we moved on to the Fire Ceremony where we burnt the words that poured from our darkness. I said, “Watch your letter burn. Watch the paper become ashes. Watch the smoke rise from the paper. Know that the materials of the ink and the paper have returned to the basic elements and you are free!”

And so it is,

Lee

If you would like to book me for your own Write & Burn Ceremony or any other Writing Workshops, my calendar for 2022 is now open!

Coronavirus, Anxiety & Thanksgiving

I was driving to my son’s Christmas market yesterday having just received notice from school about a Grade 1 pupil with Covid-19. My nerves were in a twist.

Since last Thanksgiving, about 5million people have died, South Africa is headed for a “fourth wave” and a new variant of the Corona virus (Omicron?) seems to be our next big threat. No wonder, I thought, No bloody wonder scientists have had to coin a new term. “Covid-19 Anxiety Syndrome” says it all. This pandemic has messed with our heads and we will have scars for many years to come.

Before we walked into the market, I spent some time alone to get grounded and centered. When I felt ready, I headed straight to the bar. That’s when I bumped into someone I haven’t seen for about 2 years. The first thing we spoke about was her cancer. “I heard you were ill,” I said, “How are you feeling?”

She generously took me through her journey, right from the lump she found in her breast and later her armpit to the double mastectomy, chemo and long road home. As she walked away with her two young children, something really stayed with me. She was so GRATEFUL! She told me that not only was she grateful to be alive but she was sooooooo touched people! Naturally, her friends and family were there to support her but it was the random meal drop-offs, help with the kids, kind words, flowers and support from people in her neighborhood that touched her big time.

The sense of gratitude helped to shift her focus from poor me to blessed-me! This despite the sadness, fear and trauma she is still working through.

Happy Thanksgiving Photo by Olenka Sergienko on Pexels.com

As the sun set, the sound of happy children, smell of boerie rolls, champagne glasses clanking and the odd glow in the dark toy lit me up inside. I was grateful for my good health, grateful for the wonderful night sky, my amazing mom friends and my tall, handsome boy who I watched laughing in the distance. But, like my old friend, it was the people that gave me the feels. Our community of love.

I wonder if scientists are going to coin a term called Covid-19 Gratitude Syndrome because just everything seems a little more special at this point in the game.

Lee