Warning: Kindness is Dope

I met someone recently who thanked me for something I did for her 20 years ago.

I kid you not.

To be quite honest, I did not recall the detail or that act of apparent kindness at all. She tells me that it came at a time when she desperately needed a strong mother figure and that young-me stepped up.

I must say, our exchanges back then never did feel like “rescue” or “help” to me. In fact, I reckon I was the one who felt good. I was the one who felt useful. I was probably the one who felt high from the endorphins that make us drunk with purpose. That’s really all I remember about our interactions ~ how lovely I felt around her.

How cool?

Her testimony has since inspired me to write some random “Thank You” notes of my own. Because the stars know that there are plenty of people who have touched me over the years. And just like that, I’m part of an energy that keeps the magical vibration of GRATITUDE in motion.

Perhaps you feel inspired to hop on the train and thank someone today too? If so, I can tell you without a doubt that the wise ones were right: It is indeed GIVING that we RECEIVE.

Try it. Thank me (29 years later).

Lee Mayimele

Chief Storyteller

Dear Kids (A reflection from a greying Mama’s Heart)

Dear Kids

Whilst no parent has all the answers and whilst this mama is constantly, still learning, know this for sure:

1. You are never alone
2. Travel is the best teacher
3. “No” is a good word. Use it often. It’s particularly lovely when there’s a dead silence and you offer no explanations
4. “Please” and “thank you” never goes out of fashion
5. Water heals. Oceans. Tears. 2 litres a day
6. You have a built-built in “people” radar. Please listen to its beep beep beep when something feels offish
7. Sleep is medicine
8. Play, play, play. Never stop playing
9. Less sugar, less screen time, more grass, more laughs
10. God is inside you and no one one has a special hotline that you need to go through
11. Betrayal is painful. Nothing can prepare you for that kick in the groin
12. Go out and explore. You can always come home to cry
13. Try and remember who you were before the world started pinning its labels on you
14. Your body is beautiful. Exactly as is. Explore it. Admire it. Treat it right and it will reward you so much
15. No one knows it all
16. Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family
17. Believe in magic. Those who don’t, never find it
18. Your word is your honour. Do what you say you will. Always
19. A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles
20. Give freely. Of what you have. Of your time. And quietly please
21. No one likes a show-off
22. Learn to listen. To God’s voice in the early morning. To yourself. Certainly to people who you trust
23. Shortcuts never work
24. People will forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them FEEL. Be kind
25. Books, music, thunderstorms and tea are good for lonesome days when you need your mama
26. Abundance and prosperity are your birth right
27. Look beyond the labels of race and religion, gender and social standing. How people treat people from whom they need nothing is where you should focus your scoring and grading
28. Jealousy is when you count other people’s blessings instead of your own
29. Love does not need to hurt
30. Speak your truth. Even when your voice shakes
31. What sets your soul on fire? Go there
32. Learning is constant
33. Messing up is okay. Intentionally hurting someone never is
34. You teach people how to treat you
35. You may have one “true love” or many or even none. Remember that you are whole anyway
36. You have a story that only YOU can tell

 

xoxo

Mama

 

© Aluta continua, as they say.  A Heart Full of Stories, 2017

How a DUSTBIN schooled me (A Lesson in Self-Worth)

I had been shoving things into my kitchen dustbin for 2 days over a long weekend. I pushed down hard each time.  Every item that went in I noted would be the last thing that would fit. But lo and behold, the old cow of a dustbin was a dark horse. She had lots more capacity for crap than I had given her credit for. She had a BIG Inbox for rubbish. I was happy.

 

She got me thinking:

Isn’t it amazing how much crap (aka bullshit) we accept?

Isn’t it funny how much shit we think we’re made to take?

Isn’t it fascinating how much grime, dust, dirt and other people’s nonsense we’re open to receiving?

Isn’t it interesting how we take more and more and more and more pushing when we’re already sick of it? 

 

When Monday afternoon rolled around, I knew that there were only a couple more hours to go before the long weekend was over.

 

My dustbin was acting up. Big time.  The cow was getting cocky. Pushing back at me.  I tried a pizza box, but she resisted.  I tried something more eco and diet friendly, but she wasn’t accepting the old tofu (don’t ask!) either.  Stupid tart!

Again, she got me thinking:

Isn’t it amazing how our tolerance for crap (aka bullshit) decreases as time goes on?

Isn’t it true that our capacity for rubbish shrinks with time?

Isn’t it beautiful how much grime, dust, dirt and other people’s issues we just close off to? 

Isn’t it magical how we simply take less and less and less pushing when we’ve had enough?

 

I decided to deal with the rebellious dustbin in the old fashioned way: I decided to ignore her.  I left her to deal with her own “issues” of boundaries, self-worth, value, dignity. I knew better than to mess with a cow who has had enough!

 

Allow me to wish you strength in dealing with your own capacity for bullshit too.  It’s a dirty business, but let’s face it, the more shit you take, the more shit you will get.  Only YOU can decide when enough is really enough and when is the moment you decide to cancel your subscription to the circus casting call.

 

Aluta continua, as they say. The road to calling that “end” is often a tad too long…

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

How a piece of gum taught me 5 Important Life Lessons

I had a feeling the waiter saw me stick my spearmint gum under the table. Our eyes locked for two long seconds. The unholy mental rendezvous made me blush a little but that moment was quickly interrupted by a woman screaming “I will kill youuuuuuu!”

 

Damn, some people can over react, I thought! Whatever happened to threatening a punishment befitting the crime? 

 

Fortunately, I was not the one she wanted to kill. Nor was the waiter, thank goodness.

 

The object of her fury was a man in a car. Crazy was lying on top of the bonnet with her granny knickers on display for the whole parking lot to see.  She was using one windscreen wiper to hold on to. Her free hand was swiping the other wiper viciously through half an open window into the frightened man’s face. I had no doubt that she wanted to kill him and his eyes told me that he knew that too. (Eye contact! Why on why did I go there?)

 

Security arrived quite quickly and it was then that I saw two little blonde heads rise and quickly dip back onto the backseat. There were kids in that car and our eyes had locked for just two long seconds, contracting me into the story even more. 

 

From sheer nervousness, I reached under my table and began to play with “my” gum. It started to make my fingers smell sweet. Grape! Grape! That smell was grape. Who even buyssssss grape gum?

 

And that was the first and only time I wanted to kill someone too. I want to kill myself. Eeeew!

 

Now please let’s not get clever and ask “what’s the moral of the story?”…because we all know it is bloody clear as daylight: 

 

1. Don’t do stupid shit
2. If you do do stupid shit, do not make eye contact
3. If you do make eye contact, you enter a contract
4. Contracts are usually one sided and generally once you’re in, you’re in
5. Your mom was right about wearing good underwear (just in case)

 

 

And oh yes, there are crazy people everywhere. Some want to kill. Others buy grape gum. Be warned.

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Defining Moments (A Lesson from a Father)

I was eavesdropping and what I heard made my heart sink.

 

The father said to his son “No, you can’t go and play. Remember what I told you…”

 

I was expecting him to say “….you need to do your chores first.”

 

My kids & I were on our way to the park but I was desperate that they not interrupt my listening pleasure, so I threw their ball as far as I could. They bolted towards it.

 

The man continued “…I told you. YOU have to work twice as hard as the other kids because WE don’t want you to end up like me!”

 

For good measure, he added “Do you understand me?”

 

 

I understood him but I wonder how much of that POWERFUL LESSON in inequality, social standing, class, responsibility, regret, hierarchy, dreams, resentment, balance, diversity, education, priority, motivation, sacrifice, politics, psychology that child understood.

 

I absorbed the lesson (including its dark side) and said a prayer of gratitude as I walked away.

 

I have no doubt that that will be a defining moment in the child’s life. The only question left to ponder is how exactly he will define the moment, or how exactly the moment will define him.

 

Aluta continua, as they say. The road is long (for us all).

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Pleae don’t take it so personal!

A gentle little boy came over to our house to play.  My kids were delighted!

 

It was a beautiful hot summer’s day in Johannesburg and a thunderstorm was brewing.

 

My daughter took her favourite cookie, and came into the kitchen to cut it up. She wanted to share it with her friend. Something she refused to do for her brother. Ever.

 

While my daughter was busy with the cookie, the boy announced that he wanted to go home. My daughter was devastated. She was just getting started. What about the cookie?

 

After he left, she started crying “Mama, he doesn’t like me! He doesn’t like meeeee!”

 

It turns out that the boy was scared of thunder. He wanted his mom a bit more than he wanted my girl. Or the cookie!

 

I understood.

My girl did not.

 

She took it personally.

I understood that too.

 

 

….and that got me thinking:  Isn’t that just life huh?  Isn’t that just how the cookie, crumbles?  Very often, we take things personally when really, the shit going down has everything to do with the other person and little to nothing to do with us.

 

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2016.  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

Trust Issues

I walked into the room and I could tell that they had been talking about me.

The tension told me that it was not good things.

One of the girls was my friend. The rest of the people I hardly knew.  Someone said “So, how was your weekend?”

The spotlight was on me. 

I saw a few shoes shuffling, heard a few throats being cleared.  The anticipation of my response was causing shifts in the room’s energy.

I said “It was relaxed. I did a bit of reading.” 

The next day, my friend called me up and told me that she was “concerned”.

She had been hearing rumours. Over tea, my friend began to unpack her concerns.  She started with my account of my weekend.  The truth is, I had donated some money to a charity and they had published a picture of me in the local newsletter. I did not know this.  She did and the fact that I did not see it fit to tell a group of strangers how charitable and wonderful I was, was a clear red flag for her.  She ended off by sharing with me that she had spent “some more” time counselling my boyfriend. They were near a breakthrough and hopefully he would “change”.

 

I was stunned. 

Firstly, I believed in my right to privacy, especially around philanthropy. I also knew nothing of my friend and boyfriend’s Dr Phil meetings and I most certainly knew nothing of MY hand in “pushing him over the edge”.

I was seriously stunned.

Fortunately for me, that chapter ended many years ago and I was both friendless and boyfriendless at the end of it, by no proactive choice of my own.

But who knew that in my middle-aged days of nappies and botox considerations that I would have to revisit the story.

You see, last week I sat in a room where everyone was talking about someone else’s husband and she walked in.

Someone asked her a leading question. The spotlight shone brightly. The energy in the room became greyish brown. There was shuffling and throat clearing. The tension made me start peeling the gel off my nails.

I was stunned.

Although they were all complete strangers to me and I was merely an observer sitting at the next table, I was seriously stunned.

So I closed and eyes and said “Thank you” for every weed that removed itself from my garden.  And then I continued to watch the dear woman proceed to answer to her audience.

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and http://www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Loaded Questions – Short-Short Story

Each time she asked a question. I became uneasy.

The question was always loaded.   Guaranteed.

I found this exhausting.  Mentally and emotionally exhausting.

At times, I refuelled.  I got ready. I fired.  Game on.

But most times, I retreated.

My reasons for not playing the game varied.

Sometimes I was just not in the mood for the game.   It happens right?

Other times, the stakes were too high. The casualties too precious.  The possible fatalities strategic.

All in all, I reckon the learning experience was invaluable.

And today, I am grateful.

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The “Choice” to Listen

They had a history of twisting words.

So, when one of the two girls told me that she was worried about a rumour doing the rounds, I was sceptical.

But, I chose to listen. Simply listen and make no comment. 

Then, the other girl mentioned the same thing to me two weeks later.  She actually called me and said that she “didn’t mean to cause any trouble”. She also told me that she “didn’t like to get involved in other people’s business”.

Both statements were lies.

But again, I chose to listen.  Simply listen and make no comment.

It only occurred to me AFTER the final version of the story was told, how in fact, I had actually entered the plot.

Yes, there were many versions of the “truth” now doing the rounds and yes, I was one of the main characters in the movie.  ME!? The one who had said nothing?   Yes, me!

The thing is, whether I liked it or not, I had entered their story.  I engaged. I participated. Simply by listening. 

Once I accepted that I was part of the plot, I needed to strategise.   The way I saw things, I had two choices:

1. Ignore(and continue to be an UNOFFICIAL cast member in a story where my name was being dragged through the mud)
2. Confront(and become an OFFICIAL cast member in a story where my name was being dragged through the mud)

I chose to ignore it.

And yes, perhaps I have no balls.

Perhaps I am just wise.

Perhaps I know how to pick my battles.

I guess the jury is still out.  Maybe one day I will be able to say with certainty WHY I made the decision I did.

Until then, Aluta Continua, as they say.  The road is still long (for me)

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

She danced

Her heart had a defect

It couldn’t see its own face

So it searched in places that were dark

In beds that were cold

In shirts with smells of perfumes she did not wear

To find “soulmates”

And it burnt her over and over again

Until one fateful morning when the light pierced a hole in the bullshit

The hole allowed just enough love in

Enough for her to name the crime

And she danced

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.