A BIG SHIFT – AHA!

A couple of years ago, I sat at my desk, staring at a pile of papers for hours.  

I was required to do a recon of expenses for the company I was working for at the time, but because I had been running on empty for months, I just sat there unable to move. 

My doctor called it “adrenal fatigue and burnout” but I knew that there was more.  But, like so many a corporate animal, I limped along from one deadline to the next trying to prove that I was invincible when in fact the ground was giving way beneath my feet. 

I won’t tell you exactly how that chapter ended because you’ll have to wait to buy my second book. (SURPRISE SURPRISE! Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing all this time.  I’ve been writing.  Sorry if you’ve missed my weekly stories  I had to put my head down and focus.  I’ve also written about why I could not blog during this time of writing my book. It was a “spiritual” directive)

 

Back to the story of the ADRENAL FATIGUE,

Yes, I was drained by my work because it was not aligned to my PURPOSE.   I kept getting this nagging feeling that I had to make more time for my “inner work”.

Why couldn’t I just fast forward to the part where I get the new role in the new life I wanted?

Frustrated at first, I began to make time for what I believed to be the INNER WORK. Daily meditation, prayer, study, study.  I consulted with my guides, teachers, coaches, mentors and spent many hours in prayer and solitude.

Still, something was missing.  Until one morning, just as I stepped out of my cold shower (Get your mind out of the gutter! I’ve been taking cold showers for over 20 years for their circulation and immune boosting benefits!)

Ahaaaaa!  I felt a voice say in answer to my repeated question about how to inject more purpose and magic into my life in order to grow and prosper.  The answer was quite simple:  PLAY! LAUGH! DANCE! CONNECT! 

That’s it, I thought. That’s exactly what was missing.  Those words described me so well but why was I not committing to those things in the same way as I was to the other “important” things in my life?

Exactly!  Following my BLISS is now my “inner work” and I am very committed to it.  

Perhaps I can tempt you to join me?

 

xoxo

Lee

 

Dear Kids (A reflection from a greying Mama’s Heart)

Dear Kids

Whilst no parent has all the answers and whilst this mama is constantly, still learning, know this for sure:

1. You are never alone
2. Travel is the best teacher
3. “No” is a good word. Use it often. It’s particularly lovely when there’s a dead silence and you offer no explanations
4. “Please” and “thank you” never goes out of fashion
5. Water heals. Oceans. Tears. 2 litres a day
6. You have a built-built in “people” radar. Please listen to its beep beep beep when something feels offish
7. Sleep is medicine
8. Play, play, play. Never stop playing
9. Less sugar, less screen time, more grass, more laughs
10. God is inside you and no one one has a special hotline that you need to go through
11. Betrayal is painful. Nothing can prepare you for that kick in the groin
12. Go out and explore. You can always come home to cry
13. Try and remember who you were before the world started pinning its labels on you
14. Your body is beautiful. Exactly as is. Explore it. Admire it. Treat it right and it will reward you so much
15. No one knows it all
16. Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family
17. Believe in magic. Those who don’t, never find it
18. Your word is your honour. Do what you say you will. Always
19. A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles
20. Give freely. Of what you have. Of your time. And quietly please
21. No one likes a show-off
22. Learn to listen. To God’s voice in the early morning. To yourself. Certainly to people who you trust
23. Shortcuts never work
24. People will forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them FEEL. Be kind
25. Books, music, thunderstorms and tea are good for lonesome days when you need your mama
26. Abundance and prosperity are your birth right
27. Look beyond the labels of race and religion, gender and social standing. How people treat people from whom they need nothing is where you should focus your scoring and grading
28. Jealousy is when you count other people’s blessings instead of your own
29. Love does not need to hurt
30. Speak your truth. Even when your voice shakes
31. What sets your soul on fire? Go there
32. Learning is constant
33. Messing up is okay. Intentionally hurting someone never is
34. You teach people how to treat you
35. You may have one “true love” or many or even none. Remember that you are whole anyway
36. You have a story that only YOU can tell

 

xoxo

Mama

 

© Aluta continua, as they say.  A Heart Full of Stories, 2017

“Crazy” is the new “free” (A short reflection on daring to be different)

I like “crazy” people,

 

You know the ones who sit down on the grass in a suit just because the spot is right and the grass is never going to be that particular shade of Jade again?

 

The ones who let their mascara run when a stranger’s baby takes their first steps?

 

The ones who eat bolognaise at breakfast and cereal at dinner?

 

The ones who simply say “not today”?

 

The ones who detox and retox in the same week?

 

The ones who leave all their curtains and windows open at midnight because it smells like rain?

 

The ones who collect shells, coins, feathers, and lavender even when it means their kids go Peter-from the-Bible on them?

 

The ones who have friends 40 years older, 30 years younger – some in places they can’t even pronounce?

 

The ones who have a silent melt down in the deli because they’ve run out of full fat double cream yoghurt?

 

The ones who simply say “not today”?

 

The grey ones who giggle in church, cry at sports matches and sing Spanish songs with all the wrong words?

 

The ones who dare to raise their hand and “object” when everyone around them is nodding?

 

The ones who wear clashing colours or their Wang wedding dress back to front simply because they prefer it that way?

 

I do love those people,

Because in a way 

we’re all dying to be “free”! 

 

 

© Aluta continua, as they say.  A Heart Full of Stories, 2017

 

 

Do you have a heart-wound after a LOSS? If so, come listen to my story….

All this talk about Mother’s Day has me feeling anxious, I must admit. My heart-wound has only just begun to form a scab and I have been taking good care of it.

 

My approach to its healing has been quite simple, actually. Like a good mother, I have looked primarily at INFECTION PREVENTION.

 

For starters, I took a conscious decision that I needed to keep the environment sterile and germ free.  And while I am under no illusiions that one cannot engineer every social environment or interpersonal encounter completely (particularly with family), I knew that it was indeed possible to focus on “access control”. So, I did.  Quite intuitively, I have been terribly circumspect about who I engage with, what I share, and how I could avoid people with energies that felt harsh to my sensitive film. The daily “disinfectant” through meditation and “fresh dressing” through prayer have helped tremendously.

 

Secondly, I focused my attention on creating a HEALING ENVIRONMENT for the heart-wound. Once more, led purely by my instinct, I began to draw on my good memories of my mother and to allow that positive energy to flow into my home, into my work and into my relationship with my own children. I have also played, laugh, rationed screen time and increased my reading time.  I began to seek out real experiences, people, food and music that made me smile.  And sure enough, the smiles came.

 

I am, of course, always mindful that with this sort of wound, research tells us that there is no prescribed time frame for healing completely. In fact, research tells us that there isn’t really a “cure” at all.  Like diabetes perhaps, one simply learns to “manage” the beast and one learns to adapt one’s lifestyle in order to lead a productive life.

 

So, adapting I am.

And it would seem that the wound is indeed closing up.

And the scab will fall off.

And all that will remain is the scar. 

 

How I will relate to the scar, is of course another story entirely, but I will tell you this honestly:  there IS always light at the end of the proverbial tunnel after a loss. Yes, even when you think your entire world has gone black forever.

 

You will one day be able to reflect on your scar and know for sure that every single day is a GIFT. (After all, no scar is able to form on that which is not alive). And like me, you will also be able to CELEBRATE not only on Mothers Day, but every single day that you are alive.

 

Aluta continua, as they say.  May you never take a day for granted.

 

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2017