Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself in the shower

In the car 

In all the spaces where you cry alone, smile alone and think of all the dreams that slipped away 

Forgive yourself for all you wish you had shared when you had plenty 

All the sunsets you didn’t lift your head to notice

All those days when you tried but fell flat on your face

And buried your tears under tons of fake smiles, makeup, noise and wine 

Forgive yourself for the jealous moments 

The ugly sessions of gossip and untruths 

Forgive yourself for not finishing what you started and not doing what you promised

Forgive yourself for staying 

And going 

And waiting 

And watching days turn into months turn into years of what ifs 

Forgive yourself for not taking a chance 

And for taking too many chances 

On the same old same old people and things that could-have/should-have/would-have but didn’t 

Forgive yourself for losing hope 

For looking outside for answers

For all the opportunities to grow and stretch and break free that offered you a ride you didn’t take

Forgive yourself for the seasons that went by in a flash 

For forgetting where you come from

For comparing yourself to people whose paths appear lighter than your own

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself sooner

…and breathe! 

xoxo Lee

~Written on a cold, Joburg morning while sitting on my kitchen floor where I saw the perfect sunny spot. I crawled up to it, grabbed a piece of paper, and let the download come in. Just like the sun!

Photo by Sigrid Abalos

Teach People How to Treat You

So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?

I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.

I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).

For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.

The ones I liked most were:

What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?

&

How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?

Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!

I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.

Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.

Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).

So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?

TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.

Wishing you Courage Always,

Lee

P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).

Boundaries 101

YOU are Enough

…The time surely comes

When you put yourself first

When you regain your God essence

When you count your blessings

When you honour your sadness

When you give yourself permission to try

When you name your pain

When you stop calling your passion a “hobby”

When you keep your word

When you kick someone out of your emotional bed

When you alienate nasty creatures

When you write thank you notes

When you take more risks

When you stop trusting losers

When you approach people you need

When you say no to darkness

When you yield appropriately

When you say beautiful words of gratitude instinctively

When you sleep for days

When you trust your internal red flags

When you disappoint another heart

When you run your race and let others run theirs

When you clear everything on your vision board and start again

When you no longer mind being called emotional

When you equate self respect with breathing

When you allow yourself to dream again

When you listen to a child

When you let yourself be touched

When you honour your calling

When you travel to places that call you

When you risk humiliation

When you press “reset” on your life

When you accept the shape of the parts you disguise

When you simply say “not today”

When you acknowledge those that guide you

When you start imitating yourself

When you draw a line in the sand

When you empower other people

When you forgive yourself

When you delight in the success of others

When you laugh loud

When you kiss your broken heart

When you are your own role model

When you emulate the speckles of light you see

When you tone down the noise

When you soothe your heart with music

When you dine alone

When you share your struggles

When you own your fears

When you unlearn your defences

…and on that day, may you know that YOU are enough YOU have always been enough YOU will always be enough End of story!

Aluta Continua, I say!  The road is long (for me)

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.