You know what guys? I’m sad about what’s happening in Israel and Palestine. I’m sad about the millions of people dying in India as the Corona virus continues to wreak havoc. I’m sad about the many divorces, suicides, mental health issues, drug addictions around me. I’m sad about the way people are struggling to eat, feed their families and survive. Their pain is everyone’s pain.
And yet, in the last couple of weeks,
My dad got his vaccine, my niece got married, the kids set a mouse-trap and my daughter wore hot pink shorts for a new dance class
I picked chillies from the garden and turned it into a home made peri-peri sauce which I bottled for some friends
My neighbour put a bottle of silver shampoo at the gate for me to try (without saying a word)
My favourite client launched her new website
I cut my hair, made rum and raisin ice-cream and ate it in bed with my hubs when the lights went out
I ran a little further, finished editing a 70,000 word manuscript for a client and I received the sweetest hand-written thank you note and some Turkish delight from a little boy.
Looking out for these moments and documenting them is part of my self-care.
It’s not so much about creating a false sense of happiness but rather choosing to note the little things.
These are the moments that help to lift my mood, change my focus and improve my overall feelings of health and wellbeing. The more I do it, the more I see little things to take note of.
So, I wanna know. What’s on YOUR list of things to be grateful for this week? If all you did was brush your teeth, that’s okay too. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. I say snap those pearlies and be grateful you still have them.
“What, Mama?” *insert shock-horror on the cutest faces you can imagine here* “So YOU write the stories…and they take the credit?” (“Do you at least get money?”)
I don’t know how it came about that I even brought GHOSTWRITING up with them. Or why…
Perhaps it was on that morning I was nearly bust being the Tooth Fairy and I grabbed a book in a lame ass attempt to show them something more “interesting”.
I’ve been a GHOST WRITER for many years – taking ideas and rough drafts, weaving and channeling my ideas around them and then handing them back to authors to publish.
I’ve never thought about the credit bit. I guess that’s not why I write. I write because it gives ME pleasure!
Have YOU figured out how to turn something you love doing into a business? I’d start with what brings you JOY.
That’s always the way.
xoxo
Lee
For more stories like these and a list of my services, please visit www.leemayimele.com
It’s school award season and I’ve been watching something with interest.
On the one hand, you have the proud parents posing with their children and the congratulatory comments from happy friends. Then there’s the ugly flip-side as the parents whose children did not win the big awards, turn to their friend’s Inboxes to whisper their conspiracies.
Yip, the Green-eyed monster is alive and well!
I have not engaged: Neither to post about my children’s achievements, nor to throw shade where invited.
HOW?
Well, it’s easy for me: I have a little symbol to whack me back into line.
This little symbol has always brought me back in line, helping me to ground myself in humility and also to avoid the temptation to compare. Photo by Jumana Dakkur
The Evil-Eye is traditionally a symbol to guard against jealousy but I use it as a note to self.
The one I wear on my arm is my daily reminder:
Don’t boast – Nobody likes a show-off
Don’t draw unnecessary attention to your home/relationship/material bounty – Envy is a biatch
Run your race and let other people run theirs – It’s a win-win
Count your own blessings and there will be no time to focus on other people’s – Gratitude 101
I’ve also learned from watching with interest how my muslim friends respond to a compliment (whether it be about their looks or the talents of their children) with the response, Masha’Allah, that is, “God has willed it”. Don’t you love that show of humility?
Perhaps this will inspire you the next time you find yourself edging towards the territory of the Green-eyed one again? It’s always good to remember that blowing out someone else’s candles never makes ours shine any brighter,
Lee
**If you’d like to learn more about The Evil Eye, I found this Wikipedia entry quite interesting:
There are some really nasty people in this world. Trust me, I have had my fair share of them over recent months. From the word-twister to the gaslighter, from family members playing one against the other to the repeat cry-wolf types.
But, damn there are some amazing human beings on this planet. And, again I didn’t really have to travel very far (not that I could) to find them.
Just this morning, I was sitting with a friend having one of my most favourite meals : a piece of sourdough toast, slathered with a thick layer of hummus, topped with sliced avocado, grilled balsamic basted baby tomatoes, a couple of blocks of rich Danish feta, rocket and a poached egg. Yes, all on one piece of toast!
If this be my last meal, make that a double portion of hummus, please!
So, there I am, staring into my friend’s amazing emerald eyes (which seem to pop because of the absence of her hair which is tucked into her hijab) having a foodgasm when the waitress pops over to let us to know someone paid our bill.And, like every good superhero, they vanished without a trail. Can you imagine!?
My friend’s reaction was the one I want you to focus on though. She said “thank you. We’ll pay it forward!”
I’m inspired guys! I’m inspired by what kindness can do. I’m inspired to give more and do more and be more.
…and I think I am going to heed her call to action and pay it forward more than I usually do. With a full heart and grateful for all the moments that just land in my lap to remind me to focus on the things that matter.
I want you to imagine for a second that you can tap into a VAULT.
Inside the vault is a bunch of templates, all neatly filed and labeled. Templates for happinesss, vitality, prosperity and abundance. Everywhere you turn, more templates for creativity, joy, peace and all the other things us humans need and want in order to live a fulfilled life.
What if I told you that the only way you can ACCESS that vault is through NOT wanting or needing those things? Right! You would give me the look.
Man, oh man, have I been there before too. I was like WTF!?
Have you ever noticed how the more we want something, the more we chase something, the more we desperately claw at the things, the more they seem to slip away? Think of yourself on the dating scene/job hunting/trying to fall pregnant. And, the moment you release it, boom!!…there it is? Rightttt?
I’ve found (after many years of bumping my head) that the fastest way to attract something is to release my attachment to it and to BE HAPPY ANYWAY. That energy of Surrender and Non Attachment is magnetic. It is a vibration of trust and faith that gets me straight into the vault.
Happy!
TRY IT! Simply ask yourself WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY? My list includes:
Going to bed at 8pm
5am Meditation
Going for a run
Writing
Learning spiritual “secrets”
Red wine with my dad
Writing
Cooking for and with my children
Travel
The Ocean
Fashion (gosh, I love fashion more than I realised)
Playtime
Karaoke and a bowl of hummus?! BAM!! I am happy as a kid in Krispy Kreme.
The Wise Ones have always told us that INSPIRED people are magnets for the stuff inside the vault and I think were right.
Perhaps you are inspired by opera, animals, karate, salsa and gardening? Just do more of that and let the vibration of JOY carry you.
See you inside the vault?
xoxo
Lee
P.S. Allow me to wish you a wonderful weekend and for my Jewish friends, a wonderful and SWEET new year.
My mom’s sister who died quite suddenly. It was the first week of lockdown in South Africa when she passed.
We got news of her death around 9am and all we wanted to do was rush to the family home to be with her children and her 80 something year old husband, from who she really was inseperable. They were married for 60 years or so.
I was so sad but I could park that. All I really wanted was to see my loved ones and offer support. I remember when my own mom passed, those people who just turned up on the day and DID were a Godsend. I felt I could be that kind of person in this instance.
Being the absolute nerd that I am, I managed to convince my husband that we should pop into our local police station to ask them what we needed in terms of permission in order to make our way to the family home on the otherrrrrrr side of the world. We had seen visuals on TV and social media of the army, of cyclists being arrested and I must be honest, the general air of fear and tension was palpable.
“Good Morning” I said through my mask to the two policemen at the door. They were tense too, but they listened to my story and immediately decided that yes, I should definitely jump on the highway and make my way to the bereaved. “Family” the one guy said “Family”.
“So, I dont need a permit or anything to go there for a prayer service or for the funeral?…” I tried to add, knowing that my Catholic family would want to get started on the prayer asap, particularly for a woman like my aunty who loved her faith.
Screeeeeching from the other side of a room I did not even see someone flying towards us.
“Back home!” she spat. “What do you think this is? A party? Do you know what lockdown means? There is no travelling! No partying. No walking around and shopping….”
Everyone was stunned by the absurdity of the statements.
The two policemen looked down. I thought I was dreaming.
“Umm, no mam, I have just lost my aunt…literally a few hours ago and I am her next of kin, so I was asking about what I needed to…”
“I don’t care!” she said “No means no”
“L O C K D O W NNNNNNNN she said mockingly. “It means you go noooooooowhere, my dear”.
Now my tears were beginning to come. The floodgates really opened when I made eye contact with the two policeman. They were looking down and shaking their heads. I only realised then that they reported to her. She was their boss and they were not going to be able to do anything for me.
I was sobbing. I could not believe that another human being was speaking to me like that. In a room full of other people. When I had just been shot in the heart with grief.
My husband, who had said nothing up to this point had the look. I know it well. Gentle Giant was giving her the who the fck do you think you are talking to look, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head slightly. That look only comes out once every like 12 years.
“Umm, tell me something…” he said, towering at least 100m above her head. “Did you hear the part where my wife said she had just lost her mother?” (In his culture, my aunt WAS my mother. No lies there).
“I don’t care what story she has” the woman said.
“Ummm sorry, mam? We are just here to …”
“Wait, love” he said. It was a firm and gentle, but gosh it was full of conviction.
My husband looked at the two men. Heads bowed in shame. He looked at me. Put his hands on his hips.
There was a long silence.
“Are you feeling okay?” My husband said, looking the woman directly in the eye.
Two more officers arrived. The air changed from an emotional one to something that my intuition told me could easily escalate into something ugly, where we were perhaps thrown in a holding cell and handcuffed, or worse.
That’s when one of the two officers became human again and said to my husband “I think it’s better if you guys go, my brother…”
He didn’t mean that we should GO to the highway and GO to the funeral home and GO be with our loved ones (which is just what we did, masks and all). He was firing a warning shot to us, to say that if we did not get out of there, there would be trouble. I took my husband by the hand and pulled hard.
Heartbroken, disgusted and defeated we arrived at the funeral home. That’s when something magical happened. As I entered, I felt this incredible Light. I walked into the funeral home filled with a Spirit of compassion, love, strength, empathy and support.
That strength did not come from ME, and that’s really what this long story is about.
Friends tell me that strength is The Peace that Passes All Understanding. In my culture, the Holy Spirit. In yours, your Higher Self/God, perhaps?
Trust me it will come when you need it leaving you, the spiritual being here on earth to have a human experience, in awe. And, in my case filled with so much GRATITUDE.
These are the moments, friends. These are the moments!
Have you ever noticed that the people who behave the worst, are the ones who fancy themselves the hero/ine in the story?
I’ve been going through my notes from a recent Writing Course that I taught. It was a deep emotional kind of writing in the genre Memoir. What really interested me, was that when asked why they chose not to publish or share their writing, that a range of people all said the same thing : FEAR. (I remember saying that too when I first started publishing).
I took the time to really look at the profiles of the characters that they had written about that they most feared would react negatively. It wasn’t the public. It wasn’t Twitter trolls. It wasn’t some overly critical readers out there in Cyberspace. No, the characters in their TRUE stories who my writers feared most were those closest to them! It was parents, siblings, loved ones.
As a result, the writers I am talking about became immobilised.
They were terrified of being called gaslighters, drama kings and queens, liars or being told that they were bringing up old secrets that were best left under the dirty carpet.
Sound familiar? I thought you would say yes.
The issue is universal and it does not only relate to writing. It’s a people issue.
As a writing coach though, my job is really only to facilitate a process, to guide and mentor, to edit and teach technical aspects. I would never push anyone to write or share that which they are not ready to do BUT I will (and did) say this:
It is YOUR story
You decide how you write the characters
The ones that have a problem with their characteristics, should have behaved better
How your truth lands is something out of your control
But tell your story, YOU MUST
Perhaps my little pep talk has gotten you thinking? Do you have a story you want to write or share? I offer a range of writing and coaching services, which you can see on my website www.leemayimele.com
Remember, this is YOUR story and we all have a story that only we can tell. Truth is magic!
I want to tell you a quick story about my book, Musings – Reflections of Gratitude.
When I wrote it, I thought I had accomplished my mission. I thought it would go into bookstores and I could sit my bottom down to rest and write again. But, life had other plans for me.
For a good year and a half now, I have been signing copies of this book. I kid you not. It has gone to print over 6 times and not a week goes by without a stream of corporate gifts walking out of my front door. Each person who bought it, seemed to think of many other people (moms, friends, grannies, colleagues) to whom they wanted to gift the book.
Don’t laugh! That’s my game face (tongue & all)
There are many nights when I find myself sitting at my dining room table, surrounded by hundreds of pink gift bags, pink ribbon, pink tissue paper with my little people packing the personalised books signed Mary, Sophie, Lebo, Maria, Fatima et al.
You see, what I have come to realise about this book, is that my job was not simply to write it, my job was to LIVE it. That is, the lesson about giving and receiving. About being truly grateful.
It has truly been a labour of LOVE, one which I have truly been rewarded for over and over again.
Talking about love, support and all things gifty, I’ve partnered with the lovely mom duo Debbie and Lauren from The Domestic Dolls for Women’s month and you can order signed copies of the very book for your besties, your bookclub, your staff members and all the wonderful women in your life through this website : https://the-domestic-dolls.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/musings-reflections-of-gratitude
Don’t forget to tell them how grateful you are for all they are and all they do.
I’ve spent the last 21 days with Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
We meet 5am daily, just after I have had a coffee, when the world is still fresh and my heart open. Our shared passion is HOPE IN UNCERTAIN TIMES.
Every day is the same. Oprah goes first. She tells a short story of times when she lost hope or how hope guided her back home. My goosebumps tells me that I’ve been there too. I mean, we all have. Hope is what got me through many a bloody and painful day. It still does. Just recently, in fact, I have had dig deep in my drawer of compassion in order to deal with difficult individuals who I can only describe as malicious and deceitful. HOPE is the muscle I used to frame a vision of them returning to the light one day.
Next, Deepak gets me ready to pray. The sun is usually beginning to make its way up. We begin with a “centering thought”. My favourite has been “being at peace is my greatest strength”. Deepak takes me through a preparation for meditation with a short lecture. We get comfy, accept a Sanskrit mantra, a bell goes off and we meditate together for about 20 minutes, after which the bell goes off again and we release the mantra.
It has been incredible! The expanded awareness is lovely. The deep sense of connection to Spirit so comforting.
It is said that HOPE is the word inscribed into the heart of every human being. Always a tomorrow. Always another day. Always!
Sometimes we just need a little reminding.
Lee
P.S. Here are the details of the mediation if you’re interested.
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Lee Mayimele - Writer 