I’ve been on a Lent Social Media Detox & Nearly Relapsed

I’ve been on an Instagram Detox for 40 Days for Lent and it’s been WONDERFUL!

My intention with my Lent fast was to be more intentional about how I use my time and to redirect my focus inward. 

But just yesterday, I wrote a blog about The Four Agreements and it got pushed to Facebook. I panicked because I knew exactly what would happen. Next thing I was on my Facebook “just to check” and an hour later, I was still scrolling. 

I could have done so much in that hour, guys! I had so much to do. 

The other thing I realised is that I was being drawn into other people’s energy fields by engaging with their content. It wasn’t simply a matter of consuming “entertainment”, I was physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually getting entangled in the life of the mother of 4 who missed her bus from the Eastern Cape and had no money to buy another ticket.

“She’s a scam artist!” I started typing.

“She’s tried to scam me. ‘Can’t believe she’s doing the same thing 5 years later!”  

Photo by Josie Stephens

I caught myself just in time. Another test, another opportunity to grow. I chose the high road.

Delete

Delete

Delete

Today is a new day. I am back in the game. 

Intention: Avoid Distraction. Redirect Focus Inward.

If you are in the last stretch of Lent, I wish you a wonderful Holy Week and for those of you still in the early days of Ramadaan, you’ve got this. As for everyone else, if you are looking for a ways to:

• Increase Your Productivity

• Boost Your Vitality

• Improve Your Sleep

• Up Your Sense of Wellbeing

• Dull your Jealous Streak

• Elevate Your Self Esteem

and Mind your own damn business…then you should totally try 40 Days of no social/any media. It’s just so cool.

Aluta Continua as they say.

Happy Weekend, 

xoxo Lee 

Hey, I’m Lee & I’m a sucker for punishment…NOT

Hi my lovely people

I’ve been working with contents of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for many years. Over the last 6 months, I’ve really dived deep into applying the principles to my life in order to hold myself to a higher standard in order to grow and evolve.  

For those of you not familiar with what this is, they are:

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word (Speak with integrity, say only what you mean, avoid gossip etc) 
2. Don’t take anything personally (Nothing others do is because of you. It is merely a projection of their own reality. i.e. You ain’t the victim, girl)
3. Don’t make assumptions (Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want to communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding) 
4. Always do your best (And remember that this changes from moment to moment depending on whether you are fit, happy, health, pms or not etc) 

Today, March 30th is the GRADUATION day I set for myself. Haha! I was planning to sit down at a nice cafe with my journal and go through a pack of notes I made re the challenges I faced during the 6 month application period. What can I say? I take this self-development shit seriously. Too much so sometimes. 

Just as I was getting ready for my graduation, I ran into a small problem. Guess what?….A bloody exam! I tell you, you just cannot make this stuff up. I stood face to face with a live exam paper in human form. 

Right, Miss Cocky, the voice inside my head said, Let’s See What You Got. 

The exam was tough. The person standing in front of me had war energy. I took two steps back, 3 deep breaths and then pressed play. 

1. I spoke with Integrity. Truth Only. 
2. I remembered that I was a mirror. Lee, this is not about YOU. This is not about YOU. 
3. I made no assumptions. I put on my brave girl bloomers and asked all the questions I needed to.
4. I did my very best. In my sweaty gear gear with a lump in my throat, I did not back down. 

I’m sharing my story with you today in case you need a strategy to get through a difficult situation. 

This 4 step method has helped me countless times and I am sure it will help you too.

Sending you so much love,

xoxo Lee 

Now off to that graduation celebration I go! 

I can buy myself flowers! I can hold my own hand!

Ahhh, I have a new favourite song! (Well, a new favourite to add to my list of 7000 favourites)

I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can

Miley! Miley! You’re talking my language Hannah Montana! Damn girl.

I do buy myself flowers. I’ve been taking myself on solo dates, solo hikes, solo holidays, solo everything since day dot.

Why? Well, I happen to like my own company. Just like I love me a good one-on-one date with my hot man, a book club session, moms night, and those boozy Sunday lunches with 50 of my closest family members (ha! ha!), I happen to love me a little diner pour un too.

I’ve never felt awkward about these things.

In fact, my sister Chrissy reminded me just last week of the time when I was 14 years old and took myself out to a fancy restaurant by bus, wearing my mom’s perfume – which I stole while she was at work. Yes, I know, I know! I was always a bit of an early-adopter…or what do they call them now…INFLUENCER? I sat down, surrounded by business people in their fancy suits having business lunches and ordered a Coca-Cola which I asked the waiter to pour into a wine glass. “I’ll have the…escargot” I probably said, trying to act fancy and not knowing that it was in fact snails, you know?

But you get the point.

Self-love, self-care, self-respect are not buzz words. The more you do it, the more you’ll find that what you’re looking for out there you can probably give yourself, given half a chance. And then when and IF you add other people, they’ll slot into the open spots you’ve created for them just beautifully. Right!? (Besides, another lesson I learnt age 14 is that sitting around and waiting to be taken out on a date is sooooooo last season. Beautiful sunsets wait for no man).

Listen to the Miley song guys.

Do the things,

xoxo

Lee

My Creative Origin Story. What’s YOURS?

Hey I’m Lee

I’m a freelance writer based in Johannesburg, South Africa.

I started writing when I was 9. I wrote a story about a tiger and proudly handed it in to be graded. When it came back, the first thing I noticed was a big red line drawn across the page. According to my teacher, there was no way I could have written it. She reckoned it was too good to be true and gave me zero.

That moment sparked something in me. Instead of shrinking in shame, my tummy fizzed. Perhaps I do have magic in me, I thought. So I wrote some more and sure enough, the more I leaned in to what I was good at, the better I became and the more the magic flowed. And the more my tummy fizzed.

I now run a business writing for a living!

Photo by Leah Kelley

I also teach people about that magic and nothing gives me bigger pleasure than watching people and brands come alive when they find the right WORDS to use strategically in order to achieve their unique objectives.

Because let’s face it, we are ALL creative beings at heart. We ALL have a story that only we can tell and deep within we ALL have a desire to leave our unique creative imprint on this world.

I lucked out with that zero. Without it, who knows where I would have been.

If you’d like to buy my book, read my blogs or connect with me regarding one of your creative writing projects, my website is the best place to start. www.leemayimele.com

I encourage you to make your creative mark on the world. I’m looking out for it.

Lee

Is passing the ball and sharing pizza too much to ask?

Sharing does not come easy to children. Well actually, sharing does not come easy to human beings I’ve decided.

This is my conclusion after standing on the side of the sports field and using every fibre of self-restraint I own not to run onto the pitch to grab the ball from kids who hog it. Pass the blooming thing, I shout inside my head, Open your eyes, dude…there are 3 free kids waiting in the wings. It’s a team sport!

I’m sure I’ve said that last bit out loud? Never!

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

Is it that we are all driven by some inner desire to be the hero? Or perhaps we’re just chasing the high that we know comes from scoring/winning? I don’t know what the answer is but I do think that when it comes to any group activity, understanding our role in the team is as key as understanding the overall objective. Imagine if every single soccer game had 8 Ronaldos, I say. Who would be the Ruud Krol (I’m giving away my age) to help the goalie in the back? I think I’ve made my point.

As for adults, we don’t easily master the sharing thing either despite our pretenses. True sharing implies empathy: the ability to get into another’s mind and see things from their viewpoint. How many of us can truly say that we can do that?

I’m working on less of ME and more of WE.

…unless it comes to leftovers in the fridge. Then it’s me, me, me all the way. Junior School-sport style:-)

Lee

Dear Barbara Streisand: “People who need people are indeed the luckiest people in the world”

What could go wrong on a morning when all the traffic lights are out?

Well, I packed some hot dog rolls into a Woolies shopping bag together with some cheese grillers and set off to gym. Stay with me – the hot dogs and gym visual is true.

The plan was to give the food away before it expired without my husband finding out. Long story…

I never quite made it to the gym (no surprises there) but I decided to sit down for some scrambled eggs instead. Just before I picked a spot, I saw someone I could give the food away to. The man sells Homeless Talk, a newspaper that I have seen a million times but never bought.

As I sat down at the cafe for my breakfast, I reached for my wallet to put the parking ticket in the spot where I always put my parking ticket and that’s when I realised that my wallet was in the black hot dog bag! The plan had been to stick the empty shopping bag into my gym bag, that’s how my purse ended up inside. Note to self: forget gym.

When I related the story to my children later that afternoon, sure I added some drama but essentially:

I had no cash to get out of the parking lot and had to make some decisions quickly.

So I asked the parking lady for a free pass. Sure, she said.

The cafe owner said that I come could totally have stayed for a free breakfast.

I opened my banking app to see if there had been any transactions. Cancel Cards/Not? Pause, I decided.

As I drove up the road towards the Homeless Talk seller, I saw him holding out the Mykonos blue purse with a look that said, “………..!”

The kids screamed “Nice hot dog lady!” but the man’s face really screamed “dumb blonde!” I was guilty as charged on both counts.

But here’s what this story is really about: people people, people.

We are all just people who need people. And that’s how we all get by. By needing people and by allowing people to need us. Barbara Streisand was right.

Lee

P.S. I couldn’t find much info online re Homeless Talk but the lovely guy selling his is at the garage near St Davids in Inanda close to Summer place:-) Didn’t catch his name. Don’t tell him you know me.

Gratitude Lists as part of your Self-Care

You know what guys? I’m sad about what’s happening in Israel and Palestine. I’m sad about the millions of people dying in India as the Corona virus continues to wreak havoc. I’m sad about the many divorces, suicides, mental health issues, drug addictions around me. I’m sad about the way people are struggling to eat, feed their families and survive. Their pain is everyone’s pain.

And yet, in the last couple of weeks,

• My dad got his vaccine, my niece got married, the kids set a mouse-trap and my daughter wore hot pink shorts for a new dance class
• I picked chillies from the garden and turned it into a home made peri-peri sauce which I bottled for some friends
• My neighbour put a bottle of silver shampoo at the gate for me to try (without saying a word)
• My favourite client launched her new website
• I cut my hair, made rum and raisin ice-cream and ate it in bed with my hubs when the lights went out
• I ran a little further, finished editing a 70,000 word manuscript for a client and I received the sweetest hand-written thank you note and some Turkish delight from a little boy.

Looking out for these moments and documenting them is part of my self-care.

It’s not so much about creating a false sense of happiness but rather choosing to note the little things.

These are the moments that help to lift my mood, change my focus and improve my overall feelings of health and wellbeing. The more I do it, the more I see little things to take note of.

So, I wanna know. What’s on YOUR list of things to be grateful for this week? If all you did was brush your teeth, that’s okay too. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. I say snap those pearlies and be grateful you still have them.

Grateful Always,

Lee

What INSPIRES You?

I always feel like laughing (I don’t!) when someone tells me I “inspire” them. It happened just yesterday.

Are you off your f$ing rocker? You really need to raise your standards, I always think. Here I am, with my overgrown under-arms, a dent in my car (shhhh, don’t tell the hubs – it literally just came back from the shop when I scratched it again) and a mountain of unopened bills. I haven’t had the time to clean out my daughter’s school bag this week and yes – you guessed it – the smell this morning led me straight to rotten pear. Yip, it was…you know….just hanging there in a little corner underneath the reading card. 

We celebrated our anniversary recently, and I posted a sexy pic of us kids on a night out. “Inspired” were you?  Well, I had my head buried in editing work the week leading up to that lovely picture and barely said boo to the man. So, I thought I’d surprise him with a lovely gift. When it didn’t arrive, I called to complain (in my best “Karen” voice). The tech guy’s slow “Uh…m’am” told me he knew I was grey. ‘turns out I forgot to click “check-out” and PAY!  Who does that?

Someone blamed it on Mercury Retrograde. I blame it on life!  

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch

That said, I did remember to brush my teeth and to say THANK YOU this week:

• Thank you for the gift of good health

• Thank you that my son ate all the garnishes (read veggies) on his burger

• thank you for the laughs over brekkie, the hummus, the WhatsApps of love, gossip and friendship

And most importantly, thank you because I feel loved, supported and accepted by those I share my life with.

So, I’ve decided: I’ll take the compliment the next time someone says that they are “inspired”. That’s how I will know that it’s okay to just be (messy) ME.

Perhaps you’ll do the same? I, for one, will be soooooo inspired!

xoxo

Lee

P.S. My book is now available on Amazon Kindle. See the link below for more info:

https://leemayimele.com/buy-my-book/

*CONFESSION*: I used to be a YES-Girl too

When last did you say NO?

As a recovering yes-girl, every single time I do this, I still get goosebumps. No, honestly.

Just last week I said no to doing the social media content for a campaign to help find jobs for people who had lost theirs because of Covid-19. The organisers wanted the job seekers to hold up placards describing their plight and to pose for pictures. The placard captions were to read Hungry. 2 Kids. No Food etc. I knew for sure that not one of the people – who by virtue of the way the dice had fallen in this lifetime – would have been prepared to hold up such a placard (nor would I), and so I walked away.

I just love this photo by Arfa Talib from Pexels. Isn’t it wonderful?

Then, I also said no to a bully in the family recently. Now, if you know anything about families, no is the ultimate swear word! Don’t you think? But, I was willing to take my chances. This time, I was guided by the fact that my little people are watching and learning and that if I want them to learn how to assert themselves, affirm their boundaries and stand their ground, I am going to have to walk the talk!

Perhaps you’re battling a little bit in this arena too? If you are, here are a couple of things to remember:

1. You teach people how to treat you
2. No is a complete sentence
3. You get what you tolerate
4. The only people who get upset when you assert your boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having any

I wish you love, my friends. And the courage to say NO!

Grateful always,

Lee

A Kind Stranger Part I (A story about INTENTION)

There are some really nasty people in this world. Trust me, I have had my fair share of them over recent months. From the word-twister to the gaslighter, from family members playing one against the other to the repeat cry-wolf types.

But, damn there are some amazing human beings on this planet. And, again I didn’t really have to travel very far (not that I could) to find them.

Just this morning, I was sitting with a friend having one of my most favourite meals : a piece of sourdough toast, slathered with a thick layer of hummus, topped with sliced avocado, grilled balsamic basted baby tomatoes, a couple of blocks of rich Danish feta, rocket and a poached egg. Yes, all on one piece of toast!

If this be my last meal, make that a double portion of hummus, please!

So, there I am, staring into my friend’s amazing emerald eyes (which seem to pop because of the absence of her hair which is tucked into her hijab) having a foodgasm when the waitress pops over to let us to know someone paid our bill. And, like every good superhero, they vanished without a trail. Can you imagine!?

My friend’s reaction was the one I want you to focus on though. She said “thank you. We’ll pay it forward!”

I’m inspired guys! I’m inspired by what kindness can do. I’m inspired to give more and do more and be more.

…and I think I am going to heed her call to action and pay it forward more than I usually do. With a full heart and grateful for all the moments that just land in my lap to remind me to focus on the things that matter.

Will you join me?

xoxo

Lee