My inner child really needed me last week!

My inner child really needed me last week.

“Shhh, now’s not a good time,” I said roughly; picking at another olive and shifting uncomfortably in my seat. (In my mind, I gave her the look) 

I was very aware of what 9 year old me needed in that moment. She needed to feel: 

• Loved 
• Safe 
• Accepted

And that’s exactly what I did NOT give her! 

And then something amazing happened! My son walked into the kitchen (age 9, about the same age as I was when I was most vulnerable) and I knew! I knew that I would neverrrrrrr treat him the way I had just treated Little-me.

I think it’s thanks to many years and many types of therapy, my commitment to my spiritual development and a healthy dose of self-care, that I was able to quickly self-correct. 

So, I left the dinner early and jumped into a good, long Epsom salts bath to remind Little Lee: 

If you are battling with a narcissistic bully of a boss/teacher/spouse or family member, I encourage you to say this affirmation daily and to believe that you are worthy of all these things. I do!

Sending you good vibes only,

BIG LEE

XOXO

Have you ever? (A deep and personal reflection on life revisited)

Have you ever listened to the rain falling?

Did the gentleness of drops tumbling get you poetic or did the sheer power of the storm remind you of your owns storms?

 

Have you ever felt like you’ve been kicked in the gut?

How did the breaking of your heart sound? Did it grind, wring and burn corners of your chest that you had long forgotten?

 

Have you ever received a gift?

A blessing out of the blue for which no amount of gratitude would be appropriate?

 

Have you ever been betrayed?

Did you stand in the doorway of broken trust and bleed as the shattered pieces of glass cut you as they fell?

 

Have you ever danced? Really danced?

Did the primal impulse to sway create waves of sexual energy that made you high?

 

Have you ever been needed?

Did you beam and melt, motivated and elated or did the knowledge turn on your need for control and power even more?

 

Have you ever traveled alone?

Did you have a partner with you who was not there in spirit? Did the vibrations of civilisations past call out your name and send you home changed  but on fire?

 

Have you ever blessed someone with prayer?

Did your heart send vibrations across tall walls and rough seas; intercessions seasoned with grand visualisations of success, prosperity, abundance to people who you dreamed great dreams for?

 

Have you ever watched a loved one hurt?

Did you feel hammers banging inside your chest and did the shivvering knees make you nauseas with helplessness?

 

Have you ever been touched?

Whether by the 80 year old hand of a stranger, rough with callouses but warm with unspoken stories about abuse, slavery, loved ones that have never returned? Or, was it simply a simple line from a simple song that charged your soul’s batteries and flooded your veins with warmth?

 

Have you ever been lost?

Were you lost in the forest of someone else’s shadow or perhaps lost in the company of familiar people dancing to a beat you could no longer hear?

 

Have you ever been silent?

Did the inner noise, tainted with memories and paranoia, make you doubt whether to trust the whispers emanating from your pulse asking you to be still and trust yourself.

 

Have you ever had a brush with God?

Did it happen when you were at the top of a beautiful mountain or did it happen when you came face to face with a hijacker?

 

Have you ever been an addict?

Did your drug of choice soothe you, own you, control you and lift you all at once? Did your alliance seem ubreakable?

 

Have you ever received a compliment?

A genuine string of words about who you are, not what you can give? Did it remind you of the value you create, the impact you have, the light that only you bring?

 

Have you ever looked your soul in the mirror?

Did your reflection smile lovingly, nod tenderly and embrace you with comforting words of encouragement?

 

Have you ever been seduced?

Did it help you to escape your bad reality only later to return you changed and unsure of the way forward?

 

Have you ever connected with another heart?

Did it feel predestined to happen? Did you go there?

 

Have you ever wanted a glimpse of your future?

Did you follow that need to seek guidance from soothsayers, Tarot cards, horoscopes perhaps? Anything that promised the slightest secret fast forward to a life more grand?

 

 

 

I bet you have! And, guess what? So have many spirits before you, many souls yet to come. These shared experiences give us the assurance that we are part of the same journey and that the “answers” we seek already exist. 

 

These experiences should also remind you that YOUR unique set of experiences, YOUR unique choices, YOUR bespoke combo of emotions is what makes YOUR story a story that deserves its own page in the great book of life.

 

May you learn to appreciate that. There is no story without YOU.

 

Believe it!

 

Lee-Ann Mayimele is Chief Storyteller at  A Heart Full of Stories ©, 2016.

Copyright: Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Less Distraction, More Focus please

When last did YOU try something new?

I did today.

I made a sandwich.

Yes, four little pieces of humble brown bread inspired me to be a better human being.    

The scene was set.  I wiped the kitchen counter. I took two slices of bread. I laid them side by side on the table.

I lined up the butter and jam. Yes, actually lined them up instead of sticking the knife directly into the fridge. 

I wiped the knife before I proceeded to slowwwwwwly butter the bread.

Then, I tasted the apricot jam.  I paused 2 seconds to let it sink in.

This was 6am.  I was not tired or intoxicated.  I had just had two cups of coffee.  I was fresh and life was looking good.

It was 1 minute later and I was still doing just ONE thing.  I was making a sandwich.

I lathered the lumpy, orange stuff on to the centre of the bread and sealed it.

If this was any other day, I would already have checked my phone while popping my other hand on the kettle , screamed my son’s name, stuck my hand out of the window to feel the weather, plotted my strategy to tackle my daughter’s hair and grabbed the chicken out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. 

But no, this was Monday and it was different.  It was 3 minutes later and I was still doing just ONE thing.  The same ONE thing!

I cut all the crusts off the bread.  Then, I grabbed a second knife.  I know, another first!  A second knife.  I used it to criss cross the bread, outlining where I would make the incisions. Then, I performed the surgery, creating four perfectly equal triangles.

I proudly popped those into a lunch box. Then, I took 2 more seconds to search for a matching lid. God knows, this is another honest first.  Who does these things?  Matching tops and bottoms are sooooo 1980 anyway.

Only once the little box was safely tucked into a mini backpack, did I remember that I needed more coffee.  I also remembered that I had a report to submit before 8am, I heard the tumble drier buzz, I remembered that my son was too quiet, that I hadn’t booked a cleaner, that my dry cleaning had been at the store for 2 months and that I needed to cancel my hair appointment. 

But that 7 minutes was magic.  It was exactly what I had ordered in my affirmation last week.  I remember writing “I am grateful for less distraction, more focus”.

Et voilà!  It manifested.  7 whole minutes of pure bliss.

I am not sure how many more 7 minute trances I can go into for the rest of the week, but what I DO know is that the intention remains in force. 

Aluta continua my friends.  The road is long (for me).

Allow me to wish you less distraction, more focus for the week ahead.