Have You Ever? (Version II)

Have you ever been lost?

Were you lost in the forest of someone else’s shadow or perhaps lost in the company of familiar people dancing to a beat you could no longer hear?

 

Have you ever traveled alone?

Did you have a partner with you who was not there in spirit? Did the vibrations of civilisations past call out your name and send you home changed but on fire?

 

Have you ever received a gift?

A blessing out of the blue for which no amount of gratitude would be appropriate?

 

Have you ever felt like you’ve been kicked in the gut?

How did the breaking of your heart sound? Did it grind, wring and burn corners of your chest that you had long forgotten?

 

Have you ever felt satisfied?

Was it as though everything was finally falling into place or was it perhaps just the knowing that you are God?

 

Have you ever been betrayed?

Did you stand in the doorway of broken trust and bleed as the shattered pieces of glass cut you as they fell?

 

Have you ever danced? Really danced?

Did the primal impulse to sway create waves of sexual energy that made you high?

 

Have you ever participated in a witch hunt? 

 

Were you on a warpath in pursuit of mob justice or were you the wide eyed attackee, bewildered by the “charges” and drawn into the fight kicking and screaming?

 

 

Have you ever sold out?

 

Did your team mates see it coming? How did your conscience deal with the conflict afterwards?

 

 

Have you ever eaten through your heart?

Was it your granny’s roast potatoes that transported the seratonin throughout your body or was it a hot curry shared with a hot body on a cold day that stained your arteries with bliss?

 

Have you ever been touched?

Whether by the 80 year old hand of a stranger, rough with callouses but warm with unspoken stories about abuse, slavery, loved ones that have never returned? Or, was it simply a simple line from a simple song that charged your soul’s batteries and flooded your bones with warmth?

 

 

Have you ever blessed someone with prayer?

Did your heart send vibrations across tall walls and rough seas; intercessions seasoned with grand visualisations of success, prosperity, abundance to people who you dreamed great dreams for?

 

Have you ever had a brush with God?

Did it happen when you were at the top of a beautiful mountain or did it happen when you came face to face with a hijacker?

 

Have you ever been an addict?

Did your drug of choice soothe you, own you, control you and lift you all at once? Did your alliance seem unbreakable?

 

Have you ever received a compliment?

A genuine string of words about who you are, not what you can give? Did it remind you of the value you create, the impact you have, the light that only you bring?

 

Have you ever been seduced?

Did it help you to escape your bad reality only later to return you changed and unsure of the way forward?

 

Have you ever wanted a glimpse of your future?

Did you follow that need to seek guidance from soothsayers, Tarot cards, and horoscopes perhaps? Anything that promised the slightest secret fast forward to a life more grand?

 

I bet you have! And, guess what? So have many spirits before you, many souls yet to come. These shared experiences give us the assurance that we are part of the same journey and that the “answers” we seek already exist. 

 

These experiences should also remind you that YOUR unique set of experiences, YOUR unique choices, YOUR bespoke combo of emotions is what makes YOUR story a story that deserves its own page in the great book of life.

 

May you learn to appreciate that. There is no story without YOU.

 

Believe it!

 

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2016

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Aluta continua, as they say. Our journey together continues….

 

 

The Power of “Thank You”

I have always marveled at the way mothers perform their miracles. 

To me, these superpowers seem to really come alive at Christmas, Eid, Diwali, Birthdays, Weddings and Barmitzvahs. You know, those milestone moments that go on to the mantelpiece for a lifetime. 

It fascinates me the way these moms press-on despite limited budgets and family dramas, despite the exhaustion and lack of appreciation to create something out of nothing for their loved ones. 

It also fascinates me how “thank you” seems to be the spark that ignites their hearts and gives them enough energy for another 600 rounds of madness. Those two little words seem to be the magical formula. 

I had sat down to write a story about Gratitude for these mothers (and my own miracle worker mom) when another story fell right into my heart. 

He was drunk. No, he was pissed. He said that he was drinking because he was sad but I thought that he was sad because he had been drinking.

The man told me about the loss of his kids to drugs, the loss of his cash to gambling and the fact that the red wine in his hand was his only real friend. 

His wife was home preparing Christmas Eve dinner for 20 people. He told me that she always went “overboard” and that it was a complete “waste of time and money.”

I would have loved to listen to the rest of his story, but I had to dash. My husband sent me a text message telling me that the coast was clear to go and set up themilk and cookies” scene at home.  

As I left, the grumpy man proudly showed me some pictures of his family. I noticed that they were all special occasion pictures of birthdays, Christmases and graduations gone by.

I prayed that one day he would remember how to say “Thank You!”

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015.

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Rejection is NOT Fatal

Many years ago I met a new woman.

I was immediately drawn to her.  I liked her presence.  She walked into a room and you knew she was there.  

Unfortunately the feeling was not mutual.  Regrettably, the woman with presence dismissed mine.  More than once.

I didn’t feel good about it. 

And no, I could not “just move on” or “just ignore her”.

I was drawn to her light.  This fact remained. 

Now anyone who has ever been rejected would know.  It’s an addictive drug.  Once you’ve had a hit, you don’t just STOP. No way Jose!  You get hooked. You need to go back.

So, back I went. 

Now, the first few times her rejections were subtle.  This time, she went big!  She arranged an office party for 6pm and did not invite me.  She was kind enough to tell me her sweet reasons.  She knew that I would need to use a bus.  And gosh, those buses really “don’t wait for anyone”! “But listen” she said “You won’t miss anything.  You’ll be fine!”

She was right.  Those buses did not wait for anyone.  Certainly not when you walk slowly because you are blinded by tears.

The bus left me that day.

But, what girl with presence was not right about was, I was not “fine”. 

I was not fine but those tears broke the spell of addiction. I was no longer the same girl.

Once the tears were over, I thought to myself “What a bitch!”.  That release was beautiful!

I arrived at the office the next day and her light had dimmed.

I was over her.  I was over her silver Mercedes too.  It suddenly didn’t look as shiny as I had always thought.

It has been many years now, and I remain sober. Sober with beautiful stories to tell. 

So, I say THANK YOU. Thanks for the material, Girl with Presence.

Who do YOU want to thank today?

Rejection