My inner child really needed me last week!

My inner child really needed me last week.

“Shhh, now’s not a good time,” I said roughly; picking at another olive and shifting uncomfortably in my seat. (In my mind, I gave her the look) 

I was very aware of what 9 year old me needed in that moment. She needed to feel: 

• Loved 
• Safe 
• Accepted

And that’s exactly what I did NOT give her! 

And then something amazing happened! My son walked into the kitchen (age 9, about the same age as I was when I was most vulnerable) and I knew! I knew that I would neverrrrrrr treat him the way I had just treated Little-me.

I think it’s thanks to many years and many types of therapy, my commitment to my spiritual development and a healthy dose of self-care, that I was able to quickly self-correct. 

So, I left the dinner early and jumped into a good, long Epsom salts bath to remind Little Lee: 

If you are battling with a narcissistic bully of a boss/teacher/spouse or family member, I encourage you to say this affirmation daily and to believe that you are worthy of all these things. I do!

Sending you good vibes only,

BIG LEE

XOXO

Summer Solstice & The Hero’s Journey Theme

Yesterday was 21/12/2021 – the longest day of the year in the Southern Hemisphere; the day celebrated as The Summer Solstice.

I was barefoot in the garden at sunset at a beautiful venue in JoBurg to host a writing workshop and Solstice Ceremony for 50 people. I was eager to get into my role.

Stories connect humanity. Without stories, we are empty. 

We listen to stories, so we can connect with others. We tell our stories, so we can heal. 

Every day, you are telling yourself a story from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep.

We tell ourselves stories so we can unpack and process what we have been through.

Everyone is a storyteller and I stand by my previous sentiments that everyone has a story that only they can tell.

So we wrote with abandon.

We worked with the classic theme The Hero/Heroine’s Journey because let’s face it, us Heroes have been weighed down by stuff (God, we are living through a pandemic and trying to keep our shit together!) 

Our hearts have been heavy

We have become well acquainted with fear, control, anxiety, jealousy, feelings of deep darkness 

We have lost people

Seen suffering on a level that we have not seen in our lifetime 

And we have been walking with a constant threat…Is this nightmare over yet? 

…And yet, there is the part of all our stories that will tell of crossing the threshold (as the Hero/ine does in the theory) and entering a brand new chapter of our lives where we truly are victorious.

That’s really what we all want and there’s really where the energy of the Solstice was guiding us.

Always towards the Light!

After our writing, we moved on to the Fire Ceremony where we burnt the words that poured from our darkness. I said, “Watch your letter burn. Watch the paper become ashes. Watch the smoke rise from the paper. Know that the materials of the ink and the paper have returned to the basic elements and you are free!”

And so it is,

Lee

If you would like to book me for your own Write & Burn Ceremony or any other Writing Workshops, my calendar for 2022 is now open!

Public Service Announcement: The world needs YOUR story

We are all storytellers

Whether you write in secret without any plans of sharing or whether you write for an audience

The words you spill onto your screen (or paper if you’re old school like me) are special. 

You matter,

Your experiences matter,

You have a story that only YOU can tell. 

I’ve been looking back on my journals and poetry over the years and I am astounded by some of the content. Writing has quite literally helped me to process my pain and unpack some complex emotional blockages rooted in fear and trauma at times when I felt no one would understand. 

Once I gave myself permission to write, I began to transcend my circumstances and allow the feelings to move through me. 

And you can do it too!  

The words may trickle at first. Let them. Mine trickle slowly when I am anxious or worried about something. So I wait as if to say “Come on baby, you’re safe.”   

Whether your stories are about the fear you feel about this crazy world, your anxiety about the future, feelings of old heartache, loss, betrayal, or your experiences on the other side of that spectrum of all things magical, beautiful, mystical, and awe-inspiring…just write.

Give yourself permission to write like the incredible storyteller that you are. 

I see you,

Lee 

COME WRITE WITH ME? I will be teaching a couple of WRITING WORKSHOPS in the coming days and I’d love you to join me. Whether you need some guidance on how to structure/edit your current writing or if you’re just curious about what it may feel like to surrender to the call to interrogate your deepest feelings, I’d love to have you! I’ll be in touch soon. xoxo

MENTAL HEALTH in KIDS

Last week South Africa could have been the setting for a horror movie.

I honestly never thought I would live to see my country like that and I pray that I never have to ever again. Scenes of factories burning, shopping centres being destroyed, looting and violence flashed across every TV screen and, try as I wanted to shield my children from it, I failed.

They felt the energy dipping as we checked our social media for updates. They heard the snippets of news on the short drives to the shops. They sensed the uncertainty and confusion as we tip-toed around the big issues.

Now I don’t know about you but if I remember anything about being little, things always seemed bigger when people whispered. So, we stopped whispering! Teachers were forced to do that too. My daughter’s English class via Zoom, for example, had to be put on ice for the teacher to field questions (and conspiracy theories) from learners. They wanted in on the conversation and it made me so proud to know that my kids have teachers in their lives who could hold space for such a tender dialogue.

We then received a notice from school advising of a MENTAL HEALTH DAY on Friday. A free day off school for kids to relax, de-stress, do a digital detox and reboot.

Whoooah, I thought. Perhaps this damn world really is waking up to the fact that we need to do things differently if we want to raise a generation of adults that don’t have to spend their whole lives recovering from their childhoods?

I’m hopeful. About South Africa. About the future of mental health and about Friday. I really think we’re on to something. Four-day work weeks are already totally in a thing in some parts of the world:-)

Lee

Gratitude Lists as part of your Self-Care

You know what guys? I’m sad about what’s happening in Israel and Palestine. I’m sad about the millions of people dying in India as the Corona virus continues to wreak havoc. I’m sad about the many divorces, suicides, mental health issues, drug addictions around me. I’m sad about the way people are struggling to eat, feed their families and survive. Their pain is everyone’s pain.

And yet, in the last couple of weeks,

• My dad got his vaccine, my niece got married, the kids set a mouse-trap and my daughter wore hot pink shorts for a new dance class
• I picked chillies from the garden and turned it into a home made peri-peri sauce which I bottled for some friends
• My neighbour put a bottle of silver shampoo at the gate for me to try (without saying a word)
• My favourite client launched her new website
• I cut my hair, made rum and raisin ice-cream and ate it in bed with my hubs when the lights went out
• I ran a little further, finished editing a 70,000 word manuscript for a client and I received the sweetest hand-written thank you note and some Turkish delight from a little boy.

Looking out for these moments and documenting them is part of my self-care.

It’s not so much about creating a false sense of happiness but rather choosing to note the little things.

These are the moments that help to lift my mood, change my focus and improve my overall feelings of health and wellbeing. The more I do it, the more I see little things to take note of.

So, I wanna know. What’s on YOUR list of things to be grateful for this week? If all you did was brush your teeth, that’s okay too. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. I say snap those pearlies and be grateful you still have them.

Grateful Always,

Lee

Shock-Horror! Ghosts can Write

“What, Mama?” *insert shock-horror on the cutest faces you can imagine here* “So YOU write the stories…and they take the credit?”  (“Do you at least get money?”)

I don’t know how it came about that I even brought GHOSTWRITING up with them. Or why…

Perhaps it was on that morning I was nearly bust being the Tooth Fairy and I grabbed a book in a lame ass attempt to show them something more “interesting”. 

I’ve been a GHOST WRITER for many years – taking ideas and rough drafts, weaving and channeling my ideas around them and then handing them back to authors to publish.

I’ve never thought about the credit bit. I guess that’s not why I write.  I write because it gives ME pleasure!

Have YOU figured out how to turn something you love doing into a business?  I’d start with what brings you JOY.

That’s always the way. 

xoxo

Lee

For more stories like these and a list of my services, please visit www.leemayimele.com

Here’s something to help you with that Green-Eyed Monster

It’s school award season and I’ve been watching something with interest.

On the one hand, you have the proud parents posing with their children and the congratulatory comments from happy friends. Then there’s the ugly flip-side as the parents whose children did not win the big awards, turn to their friend’s Inboxes to whisper their conspiracies.

Yip, the Green-eyed monster is alive and well!

I have not engaged: Neither to post about my children’s achievements, nor to throw shade where invited.

HOW?

Well, it’s easy for me: I have a little symbol to whack me back into line.

This little symbol has always brought me back in line, helping me to ground myself in humility and also to avoid the temptation to compare. Photo by Jumana Dakkur

The Evil-Eye is traditionally a symbol to guard against jealousy but I use it as a note to self.

The one I wear on my arm is my daily reminder:

• Don’t boast – Nobody likes a show-off

• Don’t draw unnecessary attention to your home/relationship/material bounty – Envy is a biatch

• Run your race and let other people run theirs – It’s a win-win

• Count your own blessings and there will be no time to focus on other people’s – Gratitude 101

I’ve also learned from watching with interest how my muslim friends respond to a compliment (whether it be about their looks or the talents of their children) with the response,  Masha’Allah, that is, “God has willed it”. Don’t you love that show of humility?

Perhaps this will inspire you the next time you find yourself edging towards the territory of the Green-eyed one again? It’s always good to remember that blowing out someone else’s candles never makes ours shine any brighter,

Lee

**If you’d like to learn more about The Evil Eye, I found this Wikipedia entry quite interesting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil_eye#:~:text=The%20evil%20eye%20is%20a,person%20when%20one%20is%20unaware.

I also love that there’s finally an evil-eye emoji!:-)

*CONFESSION*: I used to be a YES-Girl too

When last did you say NO?

As a recovering yes-girl, every single time I do this, I still get goosebumps. No, honestly.

Just last week I said no to doing the social media content for a campaign to help find jobs for people who had lost theirs because of Covid-19. The organisers wanted the job seekers to hold up placards describing their plight and to pose for pictures. The placard captions were to read Hungry. 2 Kids. No Food etc. I knew for sure that not one of the people – who by virtue of the way the dice had fallen in this lifetime – would have been prepared to hold up such a placard (nor would I), and so I walked away.

I just love this photo by Arfa Talib from Pexels. Isn’t it wonderful?

Then, I also said no to a bully in the family recently. Now, if you know anything about families, no is the ultimate swear word! Don’t you think? But, I was willing to take my chances. This time, I was guided by the fact that my little people are watching and learning and that if I want them to learn how to assert themselves, affirm their boundaries and stand their ground, I am going to have to walk the talk!

Perhaps you’re battling a little bit in this arena too? If you are, here are a couple of things to remember:

1. You teach people how to treat you
2. No is a complete sentence
3. You get what you tolerate
4. The only people who get upset when you assert your boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having any

I wish you love, my friends. And the courage to say NO!

Grateful always,

Lee

People Fatigue – WTF? I know, I know!

It was my sister in law who famously described me by saying “She gets PEOPLE fatigue”.  

She was describing my lively social nature that has such a short battery life. What can I say?  It’s only taken me about 100 years to accept that The Natural Habitat of this beast really is the quiet mountain.  

Now, it’s one thing to know something about yourself. It’s entirely another to know that someone else GETS it! Not that you’re seeking some sort of validation. H3%ck no, we’re too old for that!  It’s just so lovely to feel that gentle voice mirroring back to us those beautiful words it’s okay,

Okay to be weird.

Okay to different.

Okay to go at a pace that isn’t exactly textbook, but a pace that feels right just for YOU? 

Photo by Josh Hild

Isn’t that what we all want!?   To shine our Weirdo Lights bright so that other weirdos feel empowered to let theirs shine bright too?

I’m sending you thoughts of love this week and I’ll be looking out for your special light. Okay?

Lee

People will always SHOW you who they are

Some weeks back, I got into an altercation with a dodgy auctioneer. The joke’s on me, because I have known him for years and let’s just say he has never claimed to be a saint.   

I think human nature is always to HOPE. I have certainly fallen into the trap of thinking that if I am nice enough, if I perform better, if I say/do all the right things that I will be the lucky one who escapes the slaughter of the bullies and narcissists.  

pic by Josu00e9 Barbosa

But it never works out that way because people do the things they do because of who THEY are, not because of who WE are!  

I think I had forgotten this for a moment, as one lesson after the other in this vein kept popping up as though the Universe was saying “Hey Lee, I don’t think you got that lesson girl, let’s give you a double-dose next time bam $%*£!”

Now I can say with certainty, I GET IT! I GET IT!   

Take a leaf out of Maya Angelou’s book, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time”.

And stay woke,  

Lee 

P.S. The pic I chose today is just something that I love because her face is so full of stories. Don’t you think? Wouldn’t you love to meet her and just listen for while?