Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself in the shower

In the car 

In all the spaces where you cry alone, smile alone and think of all the dreams that slipped away 

Forgive yourself for all you wish you had shared when you had plenty 

All the sunsets you didn’t lift your head to notice

All those days when you tried but fell flat on your face

And buried your tears under tons of fake smiles, makeup, noise and wine 

Forgive yourself for the jealous moments 

The ugly sessions of gossip and untruths 

Forgive yourself for not finishing what you started and not doing what you promised

Forgive yourself for staying 

And going 

And waiting 

And watching days turn into months turn into years of what ifs 

Forgive yourself for not taking a chance 

And for taking too many chances 

On the same old same old people and things that could-have/should-have/would-have but didn’t 

Forgive yourself for losing hope 

For looking outside for answers

For all the opportunities to grow and stretch and break free that offered you a ride you didn’t take

Forgive yourself for the seasons that went by in a flash 

For forgetting where you come from

For comparing yourself to people whose paths appear lighter than your own

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself sooner

…and breathe! 

xoxo Lee

~Written on a cold, Joburg morning while sitting on my kitchen floor where I saw the perfect sunny spot. I crawled up to it, grabbed a piece of paper, and let the download come in. Just like the sun!

Photo by Sigrid Abalos

Public Service Announcement: The world needs YOUR story

We are all storytellers

Whether you write in secret without any plans of sharing or whether you write for an audience

The words you spill onto your screen (or paper if you’re old school like me) are special. 

You matter,

Your experiences matter,

You have a story that only YOU can tell. 

I’ve been looking back on my journals and poetry over the years and I am astounded by some of the content. Writing has quite literally helped me to process my pain and unpack some complex emotional blockages rooted in fear and trauma at times when I felt no one would understand. 

Once I gave myself permission to write, I began to transcend my circumstances and allow the feelings to move through me. 

And you can do it too!  

The words may trickle at first. Let them. Mine trickle slowly when I am anxious or worried about something. So I wait as if to say “Come on baby, you’re safe.”   

Whether your stories are about the fear you feel about this crazy world, your anxiety about the future, feelings of old heartache, loss, betrayal, or your experiences on the other side of that spectrum of all things magical, beautiful, mystical, and awe-inspiring…just write.

Give yourself permission to write like the incredible storyteller that you are. 

I see you,

Lee 

COME WRITE WITH ME? I will be teaching a couple of WRITING WORKSHOPS in the coming days and I’d love you to join me. Whether you need some guidance on how to structure/edit your current writing or if you’re just curious about what it may feel like to surrender to the call to interrogate your deepest feelings, I’d love to have you! I’ll be in touch soon. xoxo

Have you stopped asking WHY?

As humans, we were born to ask WHY.

We were born to open things up, look inside and dig a little deeper. That’s how we learn and grow.

No wonder so many adults feel stuck and uninspired. We’ve stopped asking WHY.

I made the decision to change that and began to start asking WHY again some years back.

Photo by Ithalu Dominguez

Why is the sky pink, this morning? Ah, let me see how many shades of pink I can identify. Oh yes, now I want to know the names of clouds. Wow, so many! Yes, that bunch of clouds looks just like Candy Floss. Let me see if I can find someone to teach me to make some. But first let me write a little poem!

Just that one simple WHY can set off a chain reaction, presenting both an opportunity to learn (there are around 50 shades of pink according to Dr Google) and open my heart. The more I chose to tap into my sense of AWE about everything around me even on the darkest of days, the more I was presented with adventure-filled paths down which to go. And boy did I charge!

It’s my addiction now: Wandering this planet with a pocket full of WHYs and banking all the benefits.

Perhaps I could convince you to try it too?  My bet is that after just a couple of weeks, we will meet on the superhighway headed to all things CREATIVE, INSPIRED, FULL OF VITALITY & ENERGY.  

If you ever get stuck, go out into Nature. She always knows the way. Why, you ask? Well, aren’t we a fast learner!?

Grateful always,

Lee

*CONFESSION*: I used to be a YES-Girl too

When last did you say NO?

As a recovering yes-girl, every single time I do this, I still get goosebumps. No, honestly.

Just last week I said no to doing the social media content for a campaign to help find jobs for people who had lost theirs because of Covid-19. The organisers wanted the job seekers to hold up placards describing their plight and to pose for pictures. The placard captions were to read Hungry. 2 Kids. No Food etc. I knew for sure that not one of the people – who by virtue of the way the dice had fallen in this lifetime – would have been prepared to hold up such a placard (nor would I), and so I walked away.

I just love this photo by Arfa Talib from Pexels. Isn’t it wonderful?

Then, I also said no to a bully in the family recently. Now, if you know anything about families, no is the ultimate swear word! Don’t you think? But, I was willing to take my chances. This time, I was guided by the fact that my little people are watching and learning and that if I want them to learn how to assert themselves, affirm their boundaries and stand their ground, I am going to have to walk the talk!

Perhaps you’re battling a little bit in this arena too? If you are, here are a couple of things to remember:

1. You teach people how to treat you
2. No is a complete sentence
3. You get what you tolerate
4. The only people who get upset when you assert your boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having any

I wish you love, my friends. And the courage to say NO!

Grateful always,

Lee

Burn, Baby Burn!? – I need your suggestions

Hey Friends

As you know, I practice GRATITUDE daily but I also have a weekly practice that I want to share with you.  I’ve been practicing this for over 15 years now.  

Every Monday morning, I wake up just a little earlier than 5am (which is my usual prayer and meditation hour).  The extra 15 minutes gives me time to time to write down stuff some.  

I look to the week ahead and ask for special help with all “challenges” that are imminent.  Deadlines, people, …things that I know are going to be hard!  I write them down and I BURN that piece of paper.  

The act of burning doesn’t make the challenges magically vanish! Don’t be silly.  It simply empowers me to see them for what they are. Things that can be sorted. Some by me, some by others, some in the skies in ways I may never understand.  Right?!

A Monday “ritual”

Here’s where I need your help, friends:
I’m looking for a NAME for this practice of burning the piece of paper.  
Let me know if you have any ideas.

And do let me know if you are going to try it too.  I would be so honoured! 

xoxo

Lee

Have you ever? (A deep and personal reflection on life revisited)

Have you ever listened to the rain falling?

Did the gentleness of drops tumbling get you poetic or did the sheer power of the storm remind you of your owns storms?

 

Have you ever felt like you’ve been kicked in the gut?

How did the breaking of your heart sound? Did it grind, wring and burn corners of your chest that you had long forgotten?

 

Have you ever received a gift?

A blessing out of the blue for which no amount of gratitude would be appropriate?

 

Have you ever been betrayed?

Did you stand in the doorway of broken trust and bleed as the shattered pieces of glass cut you as they fell?

 

Have you ever danced? Really danced?

Did the primal impulse to sway create waves of sexual energy that made you high?

 

Have you ever been needed?

Did you beam and melt, motivated and elated or did the knowledge turn on your need for control and power even more?

 

Have you ever traveled alone?

Did you have a partner with you who was not there in spirit? Did the vibrations of civilisations past call out your name and send you home changed  but on fire?

 

Have you ever blessed someone with prayer?

Did your heart send vibrations across tall walls and rough seas; intercessions seasoned with grand visualisations of success, prosperity, abundance to people who you dreamed great dreams for?

 

Have you ever watched a loved one hurt?

Did you feel hammers banging inside your chest and did the shivvering knees make you nauseas with helplessness?

 

Have you ever been touched?

Whether by the 80 year old hand of a stranger, rough with callouses but warm with unspoken stories about abuse, slavery, loved ones that have never returned? Or, was it simply a simple line from a simple song that charged your soul’s batteries and flooded your veins with warmth?

 

Have you ever been lost?

Were you lost in the forest of someone else’s shadow or perhaps lost in the company of familiar people dancing to a beat you could no longer hear?

 

Have you ever been silent?

Did the inner noise, tainted with memories and paranoia, make you doubt whether to trust the whispers emanating from your pulse asking you to be still and trust yourself.

 

Have you ever had a brush with God?

Did it happen when you were at the top of a beautiful mountain or did it happen when you came face to face with a hijacker?

 

Have you ever been an addict?

Did your drug of choice soothe you, own you, control you and lift you all at once? Did your alliance seem ubreakable?

 

Have you ever received a compliment?

A genuine string of words about who you are, not what you can give? Did it remind you of the value you create, the impact you have, the light that only you bring?

 

Have you ever looked your soul in the mirror?

Did your reflection smile lovingly, nod tenderly and embrace you with comforting words of encouragement?

 

Have you ever been seduced?

Did it help you to escape your bad reality only later to return you changed and unsure of the way forward?

 

Have you ever connected with another heart?

Did it feel predestined to happen? Did you go there?

 

Have you ever wanted a glimpse of your future?

Did you follow that need to seek guidance from soothsayers, Tarot cards, horoscopes perhaps? Anything that promised the slightest secret fast forward to a life more grand?

 

 

 

I bet you have! And, guess what? So have many spirits before you, many souls yet to come. These shared experiences give us the assurance that we are part of the same journey and that the “answers” we seek already exist. 

 

These experiences should also remind you that YOUR unique set of experiences, YOUR unique choices, YOUR bespoke combo of emotions is what makes YOUR story a story that deserves its own page in the great book of life.

 

May you learn to appreciate that. There is no story without YOU.

 

Believe it!

 

Lee-Ann Mayimele is Chief Storyteller at  A Heart Full of Stories ©, 2016.

Copyright: Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

YOU are Enough

…The time surely comes

When you put yourself first

When you regain your God essence

When you count your blessings

When you honour your sadness

When you give yourself permission to try

When you name your pain

When you stop calling your passion a “hobby”

When you keep your word

When you kick someone out of your emotional bed

When you alienate nasty creatures

When you write thank you notes

When you take more risks

When you stop trusting losers

When you approach people you need

When you say no to darkness

When you yield appropriately

When you say beautiful words of gratitude instinctively

When you sleep for days

When you trust your internal red flags

When you disappoint another heart

When you run your race and let others run theirs

When you clear everything on your vision board and start again

When you no longer mind being called emotional

When you equate self respect with breathing

When you allow yourself to dream again

When you listen to a child

When you let yourself be touched

When you honour your calling

When you travel to places that call you

When you risk humiliation

When you press “reset” on your life

When you accept the shape of the parts you disguise

When you simply say “not today”

When you acknowledge those that guide you

When you start imitating yourself

When you draw a line in the sand

When you empower other people

When you forgive yourself

When you delight in the success of others

When you laugh loud

When you kiss your broken heart

When you are your own role model

When you emulate the speckles of light you see

When you tone down the noise

When you soothe your heart with music

When you dine alone

When you share your struggles

When you own your fears

When you unlearn your defences

…and on that day, may you know that YOU are enough YOU have always been enough YOU will always be enough End of story!

Aluta Continua, I say!  The road is long (for me)

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Wings

She wanted more

She could not put a finger on it but she wanted more

So, off she went

In the direction of her dreams

Abandoning the expectations

Deserting the mould

Riddled with guilt

She pressed on

And when it got cold, she had to make a choice

To return to the lukewarm pond or to proceed in search of her fire

A storm broke and in the chaos it called her name

She followed the sound

Right back home

To where her ancestors waited

To give their blessings

And send her back on her way

With wings!

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

She danced

Her heart had a defect

It couldn’t see its own face

So it searched in places that were dark

In beds that were cold

In shirts with smells of perfumes she did not wear

To find “soulmates”

And it burnt her over and over again

Until one fateful morning when the light pierced a hole in the bullshit

The hole allowed just enough love in

Enough for her to name the crime

And she danced

© A Heart Full of Stories, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Lee-Ann Mayimele and www.aheartfullofstories.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Who are the happy ones?

She asked a simple question.

“Who are the happy ones?”

The answer was simple too.

“The happy ones are the ones who delight in the happiness of others”