I fell into a trap recently. The VICTIM TRAP.
Now, if any of you have ever been down this path, you will know that:
- It’s warm and comfy
- Pointing fingers is your life
- Taking accountability is out of the question
- Complacency (aka sheer laziness) is standard
- Deflection is your go-to strategy for everything
It took me a run-in with someone who has been in victim mode for over 25 years to come to my senses! I noticed that I felt drained each time we met. At first, I tried not to judge and just to listen. But, listening also took too much energy, so I had to be careful.
The reasons she gave for her approach to life were full of excuses. The other thing that struck me was that she did a whole manner of naughty and ugly things, and that the victims of these antics, were often those closest to her. Because, you know, LIFE HAS BEEN HARD!
Hell no! The mirror she held up to me showed me who I definitely did not want to be.
Wake up, young lady! I caught myself saying. Smell that? It’s the smell of being POWERLESS. Not your vibe, girl!
So, I found myself some help and returned to the shore of accountability, taking little steps to get back into the driving seat. Ahhhh, that felt more ME! It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to face up to little habits I’ve developed over the years, which needed to be checked (and no one in the history of human kind likes being poked and prodded like that). But hey, this is my work!
Perhaps I could interest you in a SELF-CHECK this week? Are you a victim or are you, like me, in recovery and working hard to stay healthy?
Let me know. I’m sending you love.