My husband said the most romantic thing to me last week.
“You’re a kind one” he said “don’t let them make you who you are not”.
Straight to the heart
Just like that, I remembered! Love helped me to remember my name and with that, I was back on track.
Forgiving easily,
Giving easily,
Back in the groove of being free, open, flexible ME.
That wavelength has opened so many doors for me over the course of my life (after I accepted that it was not being “WEAK”).
Interestingly too, that awareness of the nature of my highest self, has pushed me to draw boundaries and ring-fence my peace, keeping all things that threaten it well away. Yes, it has lost me some people but gosh, isn’t that the best part? That the more ME I am, the more the people, things and circumstances that are not aligned to that vibration drop off?
How’s your week been, friends? I have so much to be grateful for.
My children tried something new and their enthusiasm has been so inspiring! (Particularly my daughter, who has a love affair with her duvet).
They’re been working out twice a week with a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) trainer. He has them doing squats, lunges, karate kicks and sprints. Just when I think they’ve had enough, he throws in one more thing and you know what?….they do it! Turns out the challenge gets them going.
So, I took a leaf from his book. I got them involved in the kitchen for a bit more than our usual Sunday bake off. Oh, please don’t ask about that. It’s this wonderful thing we’ve been doing every Sunday for about 4 years now and we really have baked some wonderful things over the years. This week though, we made some Cannoli (or as my littlies call them “Ma’s Caramel Horns”, because my mom used to make them):
The were insane! Imagine the faces of my little humans who got to boil some Condensed Milk and witness the magic of it turning into “caramel”.
I also got to burn some Palo Santo for the first time (OMG!!!!). I wrote lots, spent some QT with the hubs, hit some golf balls. I signed books for Secretaries Day coming up, I’ve slept well, eaten well and we even got to cuddle some bunnies.
I call these moments The Little Things.
Being grounded in GRATITUDE helps me not only to see them, but to really pay attention to them. With a full, full appreciation for the magic.
How may of those moments did YOU have this week?
Did you pay attention to them? Trust me, the more you do, the more they will show up. It’s the law of the universe.
Now, if any of you have ever been down this path, you will know that:
It’s warm and comfy
Pointing fingers is your life
Taking accountability is out of the question
Complacency (aka sheer laziness) is standard
Deflection is your go-to strategy for everything
It took me a run-in with someone who has been in victim mode for over 25 years to come to my senses! I noticed that I felt drained each time we met. At first, I tried not to judge and just to listen. But, listening also took too much energy, so I had to be careful.
The reasons she gave for her approach to life were full of excuses. The other thing that struck me was that she did a whole manner of naughty and ugly things, and that the victims of these antics, were often those closest to her. Because, you know, LIFE HAS BEEN HARD!
Hell no! The mirror she held up to me showed me who I definitely did not want to be.
Wake up, young lady! I caught myself saying. Smell that? It’s the smell of being POWERLESS. Not your vibe, girl!
So, I found myself some help and returned to the shore of accountability, taking little steps to get back into the driving seat. Ahhhh, that felt more ME! It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to face up to little habits I’ve developed over the years, which needed to be checked (and no one in the history of human kind likes being poked and prodded like that). But hey, this is my work!
Perhaps I could interest you in a SELF-CHECK this week? Are you a victim or are you, like me, in recovery and working hard to stay healthy?
A couple of Saturdays ago, I put on some jeans (shock horror!), exchanged my usual red lips for a more…umm…muted pinky/red and off I went to my ROSE PRUNING WORKSHOP at a local nursery. I guess I could have actually skipped the lipstick entirely, since we’d all be wearing masks, but hey…
July to mid-August is traditionally the time when pruning is done. The idea is to remove dead, old and diseased wood just at the end of Winter in order to promote new growth when the warmer months roll ’round.
The glove and Welly wearing Lisa spoke through her mask straight into my heart,
” ..and don’t forget. Cutting is only one part.
Once cut, the wound needs to be sealed
and the soil fed in order to provide the optimal environment for regrowth
Trust me, if you want healthier blooms, you have to do the work properly“
That’s when I had the Aha!Moment that I did not bargain for, but which was entirely welcome. I reckoned a bit of pruning would have to become part of my life.
Out came the trusty notebook!
I shared my thoughts with Lisa over a cup of coffee during our coffee break. I saw her eyes lighting up as I spoke about the plan I had to incorporate the principles of 1. Cut 2. Seal 3. Nourish 4. Bloom into my own SELF CARE routine.
My cheeks flushed the same pink as my lipstick when during the workshop wrap up, Lisa told the whole group about our conversation. She added, “…and so, Lee will be back to teach her workshop here in the Spring”.
She emailed me this week to begin the planning.
So, it is! Fresh new ideas and oodles of new opportunities shall blossom in the Spring.
Can you smell that beautiful fragrance wafting through the air? Yeah, it’s called GRATITUDE and I have plenty of it.
I met someone recently who thanked me for something I did for her 20 years ago.
To be quite honest, I did not recall the detail or that act of apparent kindness at all. She tells me that it came at a time when she desperately needed a mother and that young-me stepped up.
I must say, our exchanges back then never did feel like “rescue” or “help” to me. In fact, I was the one who felt good. I was the one who felt useful.
And now that I know what I do about psychology, I was probably the one who felt high from the endorphins that make us drunk with purpose.
Her story gave me an idea! I wanted to write some random “THANK YOU” notes of my own. So, I did. I had quite a few to write, because there are so many people who have touched me over the years.
With that, I became part of a dynamic ball of energy that keeps the magical vibration of GRATITUDE in motion and boy-oh-boy did it feel good.
MY CHALLENGE TO YOU :
1 Think of a few people you can thank.
2 Write them a note. Handwritten ones are sooooo charming.
3 Send them off.
4 Watch the magic happen.
I can tell you without a doubt that the wise ones were right: It is indeed GIVING that we RECEIVE.
xoxo
Lee
P.S. Thank you for reading my blogs, buying my books, booking me for all your writing needs. I never take your support for granted.
I want to tell you a quick story about my book, Musings – Reflections of Gratitude.
When I wrote it, I thought I had accomplished my mission. I thought it would go into bookstores and I could sit my bottom down to rest and write again. But, life had other plans for me.
For a good year and a half now, I have been signing copies of this book. I kid you not. It has gone to print over 6 times and not a week goes by without a stream of corporate gifts walking out of my front door. Each person who bought it, seemed to think of many other people (moms, friends, grannies, colleagues) to whom they wanted to gift the book.
Don’t laugh! That’s my game face (tongue & all)
There are many nights when I find myself sitting at my dining room table, surrounded by hundreds of pink gift bags, pink ribbon, pink tissue paper with my little people packing the personalised books signed Mary, Sophie, Lebo, Maria, Fatima et al.
You see, what I have come to realise about this book, is that my job was not simply to write it, my job was to LIVE it. That is, the lesson about giving and receiving. About being truly grateful.
It has truly been a labour of LOVE, one which I have truly been rewarded for over and over again.
Talking about love, support and all things gifty, I’ve partnered with the lovely mom duo Debbie and Lauren from The Domestic Dolls for Women’s month and you can order signed copies of the very book for your besties, your bookclub, your staff members and all the wonderful women in your life through this website : https://the-domestic-dolls.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/musings-reflections-of-gratitude
Don’t forget to tell them how grateful you are for all they are and all they do.
Here’s a fun fact for. you: I could not smell or taste for 2 years. Two whole years.
I wanted to write about this again, on this gorgeous self-care Saturday because I’ve been meeting so many people over the last few weeks who are feeling absolutely distraught about their loss of smell because of Covid19.
I’d love nothing more than to reinforce the FACT that, it is not the end of the world, that the tide does turn and that there is indeed light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
Besides, EQUILIBRIUM is the natural state of the universe.
Lee Mayimele - Writer 