Teach People How to Treat You

So, last week I wrote about my personal FORGIVENESS practice. Remember?

I said that every Friday, just before I indulge in a nice cold glass of wine, I do a quick stock take of my week to see if there is anyone I need to touch base with and apologise to, set the record straight with, clear the air with etc.

I don’t remember when last I wrote a blog that got so much attention! Within minutes, I have hundreds of emails, pings on my social media and, as usual, DM’s and WhatsApps (which seems to be what my community prefers. Nothing wrong with that. I think we’re…umm…perhaps more mature… and therefore more discreet about what we hang out there for all to see).

For the most part, people were saying HELL YES WE WANT TO TRY IT TOO but I also received lots of questions.

The ones I liked most were:

What about people who enjoy gaslighting you? Purposely causing drama? Repeat offenders?

&

How about where there has been a breach of trust? Do you still make the first move?

Well, guys. Small disclaimer: I am not Mother Teresa!

I didn’t say this last week, but not every single person with whom I get into a conflict gets the privlege of an audience or a phone call/text etc during my Friday khumbaya time.

Someone wise said “you teach people how to treat you” and I absolutely swear by that. So, in those instances, where I have looked at the situations of the past week that fall into the category of “boundary crossed”/”principle red light”/”repeat offender”, I simply do a mental reshuffle and move that person to the backrow of my priorities.

Again, it’s not easy. It requires me to assert my boundaries and trust me, people do not take kindly to people with boundaries (especially those who believe their age/gender/position entitles them to undermine yours).

So, there you have it. Yet another self-care challenge for you? Are you keen?

TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU BY WHAT YOU ACCEPT, WHAT YOU SAY NO TO AND HOW YOU ENGAGE WITH THEM GOING FORWARD.

Wishing you Courage Always,

Lee

P.S. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. (as famously said by Dr Phil or Oprah or someone like that).

Boundaries 101

Hurt People Hurt People

Read that headline again.

Hurt people hurt people. That’s right. I also did a double take the first time I read it.

I understand the statement to mean that when someone does something hurtful or bad to me, that they are really coming from a place of hurt themselves. The same goes for ME! How many times have I caused someone pain because I was not in a good space?

Now yes, I do realise that it is Friday, and this is quite a heavy thing to be bringing up on a Friday afternoon but I wanted to share something with you. Something that has helped me. And I think it could help you too.

I want to challenge you to look closely at your actions this weekend.

Look at the way your words and actions impact those around you and ask yourself “Is that how I would like to be treated?”

I’ve been doing this every Friday for 1 year now. I kid you not. I have been sitting down with my journal and looking at every interaction I have had in that week and evaluated if there is anyone who I need to have a heart to heart with, anyone I need to ask for forgiveness. It’s a Friday ritual that is a part of my life now and has served me so well.

It sets the tone for my weekend. I walk into the weekend with a sense of peace, a clear conscience and let me tell you another thing, my glass of wine tastes 10000 times more yummy once I release that energy from my aura.

Perhaps I can interest YOU in trying it? Let me know how you go.

It’s hard. But, it truly is liberating.

Ching Ching,

xoxo

Listen to your Mom

I know this sounds cliche, but I always knew I would end up being a writer. 

No, really. 

I must have been about 9 years old, when that spark first flickered. I wrote a poem about a Tiger and proudly handed in to be graded. To my horror, the teacher (an unusually tall woman with hairy legs) put a big red line through the poem, citing copying. Of course I was devastated, but my mom said something powerful to me

“Lee, think about it. Just think about it. You must be good?” 

Moms do know best, don’t they? I am so glad that I listened. 

I have never really stopped writing and now work in PR & Comms, running my own company Equilibrium Maverick www.eqmaverick.com . I have written many publications, poetry collections and am a freelancing content writer + ghostwriter too but by far my biggest and proudest moment as a writer was writing my first book, “Musings – Reflections of Gratitude” (Hopscotch). 

I guess I have both my mom and Mrs hairy legs to thank for that. 

I wanted to share this little story with you for two reasons:

1. To remind you that YOU have a purpose and unique gifts that this world needs;

2. To tell you that if I can do shit (like write a book and create new things), so can YOU.

Always,

Lee