My brother built a cupboard.
It was horrible. I walked into my mother’s home and it was the first thing I saw. All tact flew out of the window and I said “That thing must go! It is terrrrible! God, it must go. Today!”
He was lying sleeping on the couch. He threw his cover off and flew into a mad rage! A silent one.
I had NO idea he had built the cupboard. I also had NO idea my words had caused the commotion.
I was still focused on the cupboard. God, it was ugly.
My mother knew it was ugly too but she did not have the heart to say so. When she saw the explosion of feelings in her kitchen, her eyes met mine. They begged me to retreat. I ignored their silent plea.
I proceeded to contract my younger brother (read bribe) to tear down the ugly cupboard for me. We hatched a plan that as soon as the builder was out of sight, the plan would be executed.
The plan went well. The cupboard was torn down.
Very pleased with myself, I jumped into my car and planned to speed off before the cupboard artist returned. I turned on the ignition and there was the familiar sound from my young days. The damn car would not start. I tried again. It was stuck.
It was getting dark. I was annoyed. My son helped my blood pressure rise by crying to get out of his car seat. His moaning was driving me insane.
That’s when I heard a call. A high pitched sort of voice. I looked out of my window and saw a man. A horny old man.
He was standing on his balcony, with just a towel around his waist. He said “Are you okay?” and I said “Yes, I am! My brother is just 5 minutes away, thank you”.
My son upped his volume. He seriously wanted out of that seat.
Next thing, there was a knock on my window. Yes, who else but the towel guy?
He peeked into the car. I was kneeling on the front seat with my bum in the air trying to reach my son in the backseat and calm him down. Yes, you can imagine the old man’s pleasure seeing that bum up close.
He said “Do you know what you can do with 5 minutes?” and I replied “Call the cops and let them know that I am being attacked?”
“Attacked?” he said.
That’s when my brother showed up and we forgot alllllll about the cupboard.
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